Sidelines ✔️

47• not my peers • 47

The friends complimented Sadie on her outfit, which was only just a bit more glamorous than mine whilst I leant again the porch banister, watching them. I wasn't done speaking to her even though I felt like I was the last person she wanted to be continued to be pestered with, but I didn't care. I had to talk to Billy. Only then, I can leave.

When I heard someone say, we'll see you later, my head perked up away from my worn white sneakers and back at Sadie.

"You're still here." She noted when she saw me.

"That's right." I said, trying to smile again, but I could only force the corners of my lips to tug up slightly.

"Billy's not on this porch." Sadie said, her back to a bunch of the football players.

I nodded. "I can see that." I replied and nodded to the football players behind her. "Is he friends with them?"

Sadie barely had to look over her shoulder to know who I was talking about. "They're  on the same team. Of course they are." She said, looking at me like she was thinking what kind of question is that?

"Is Milo good friends with them too?" I asked.

Sadie looked at me suspiciously. "It's his house party. He invited them. I'm guessing all of this, using common sense, points to a yes."

She didn't seem to like my questions. I could tell from the way she was eyeing my suspiciously that she was trying to figure me out.

"Sorry," I shrugged, "I was just curious about Billy's other friends. We haven't really talked that much about them." I said. "Besides, just because you're on the same team as someone, doesn't mean you're really friends with someone." I replied.

Sadie narrowed her eyes at me. "Kind of like how just because you live in the same house as someone doesn't mean you're friends with them, right?"

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I looked to Sadie, wondering what she was getting at. I wasn't sure. I had the sense she felt the same thing about me.

"You're talking about my stepbrothers?" I questioned.

Sadie shrugged. "If you like."

I rolled my teeth over the bottom of my lip, realising I should take this as an opportunity to get out of the conversation.

"Do you know where Billy is?" I asked.

"Inside." She replied and I thanked her and headed up towards the front door, feeling her eyes on my back as I walked through the doorway.

Something about her was making me uneasy.

I walked inside the house and down the hallway. I managed to direct myself to the kitchen, where groups of teenagers appeared to be playing a game of beer pong. Amongst the strangers, there wasn't a sign of Billy's familiar face. It was only then when I realised I was alone in a crowded room.

The chatter and laughter circled around me, but i couldn't detect a singular familiar voice. Each word or chuckle seemed to linger in the air without a source as I looked at the unfamiliar face's surrounding me. I had the strangest feeling this party was worse than me going to jack Williams' party or my own stepbrothers' party.

I was on my own here in a way I wasn't there.

It's funny how I never realised how much more out of place I was here than I was with my own family and friends. I've always thought I belong somewhere else, but now that I've thrown myself into that somewhere else, I realise how wrong I was. I might have belonged right where I was before.

"You're that Lakewood's sister, aren't you?" Someone approached me, surprising me.

Everyone around me seemed so caught up amongst themselves that I was surprised they noticed my presence.