How I Leave You

All the Waters of Rhûn

"You have to sit up for me, amrâlimê."

Carefully, he helps me into a sitting position. From there, he takes off his own pelt, putting it around my shoulders. I let him. But it is not until his finger grabs onto my chin, gently lifting it, that I look up at last.
What I see takes my breath away.

Surrounding us are layers of greenery and vines, climbing the enormous cave's walls or falling from its ceiling. I let my gaze follow the lush vegetation upwards, where I see how I am able to see anything at all. Small cracks at the top of the grotto let in what looks to be natural sunlight, though I know it could not possibly be.

"Gemstones of starlight," Thorin says, his gaze having followed my own. "There are hundreds of clusters of them above us. All we had to do was clear the rock to make a way for us to see how they shine."

But I'm too stunned to speak, for when I trace their rays of light down again, I see what they illuminate.

Water.

On the ground, pools of water glimmer turquoise in the light of the gemstones. Never have I gotten on my feet so fast.

"Oh, Thorin," I exclaim, getting on all fours in front of the nearest pool. "It's..."

Never have I encountered a place such as this.

"I hoped you might feel at home here."

On the surface of the water, I see my own reflection mirrored back at me. Her eyes are large and golden, and she looks like someone I once knew. Someone I have not seen for a long time.

Until now.

"Yes." I look up at him. "I believe I might."

In the warm light of the gemstones, he looks terribly regal. His kingly armor does not hurt, of course, and neither does his crown. But more than that, it's how proud he stands as he looks down at me, his shoulder broad and his body wide. How beautiful his braids are and how healthy his hair looks, almost like the mane of a lion. And how, behind the strength and stoicism, a shimmer of softness gleams in his eyes, but only if you watch closely enough. Only if he lets you.

"Get some rest," he says. "I will fetch the hobbit to stay with you while I gather a few of the others to assess the damage done to Esgaroth."

"Will you be here? In the morning, will you still be here?"

I say it more desperately than I intend to. I did not mean to beg.

"This is my home, Ilwien." His large brows furrow in seriousness. "I could not dream of leaving. Not again. Not ever."

Something gentle and warm against my temple. His footsteps as he leaves.

I do not know how long it takes for Bilbo to get here. I've given into sleep before I hear him arrive.

Though I usually sleep neither well nor long out of water, tonight was one of the rare nights where rest took hold of me. It cannot be more than just barely dawn, though, for Thorin is nowhere to be seen, and he promised me that he would be here by morning.

Next to me, a different creature lies. It has large feet with too many hair strands to count, and ears that protrude beneath curly hair. It is most adorable.

Especially thinking that feigning his sleep might fool me.

"Good morning, Bilbo," I say, smiling at his shock upon hearing my voice. "You can stop pretending to close your eyes now."

"Me?" Bilbo points to himself and then looks around as if someone else were here with us. "Oh, no, I was not-- was not pretending to be asleep. No, no."