Chris's First

Chris's First- Pt. 11

I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. I had made spontaneous decisions before, like quitting my stable job and deciding to move to a foreign country, but this wasn't on the same level. If the job didn't work out I could just go back home. But this was playing with my emotions and emotions run deeper than a job.

I pulled the sheets back over my head and curled into a ball. Either I was so tired from crying that I fell asleep or my brain hurt too much and I fell asleep. But I ended up falling asleep.

I woke up about 2pm. I was hungry and I had a headache. I willed myself out of bed and down to the kitchen. I had a box of choco pies in my pantry. Those will do fine. I took them and my water to the couch. I turned on the tv out of habit and the first thing that came on was Stray Kids new music video. Fuck.

I turned it off. I ate two pies back to back. I drained my bottle of water. I ate another pie. I laid down on the couch and went to sleep again.

My phone buzzing woke me up. I looked at it, it was my sister. It was 11am there. I answered her and tried to sound as happy as possible.

"Hey sis! How's everything?" I asked her

"Oh we're all good here! Your oldest nephew just passed his driver's test!" she exclaimed

"Oh man! Congrats to him. I can't believe he's old enough for that. I really miss the kids."

"When are you coming home next?" She asked me.

"Oh not sure but the first holiday break here is the end of September but it's only for 3 days. So it looks like it will be at winter break. Which should line up with the kids' winter break." I said as jovial as possible, like I knew for sure that was the plan.

"Oh that seems so far away. But I know it's more difficult to leave as a visiting teacher." she paused, "Also, why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad."

"You sound stuffy and your voice is hoarse. You've either been crying or screaming and you only do both when you're sad." she said matter of factly.

"Oh it's nothing really. I just had a bad day. One thing after another. You know how it is sometimes." I said.

"I know there's more to that story but I'll let it be for now. Call me when you feel better. The kids want to chat."

"Ok. Will do. Love you guys." We hung up.

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I went back to sleep. I woke up several hours later. I had a missed call from the headmaster of my school wanting to make an appointment to go over my class roster for the upcoming school year. It was a month away but the school likes to make sure the class and teacher have a good bond before the actual school year starts. They set up a meet and greet and a 'Get ready for school' party around this time.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I needed to make a decision.

Someone knocked on my door. "Honey, it's me. I've come to check on you." My neighbor said.

"Come in." I heard her entering the code and closing the door.

"I brought you some kimbap and kimchi. I know you probably haven't eaten anything." She said as she looked at the empty pie wrappers.

"Thank you. You didn't have to."

"Honey, I worry about you. My kids are grown and far away now. So you, you are my daughter now. And I will worry about you and I will take care of you." She sat down next to me.