Chan hasn't dated before. Is he capable of being true to you? Will you be let down by him? Or will you live happily ever after? How will the other members treat you? Will they try to get between you and him?
I looked at the clock on the dresser. 8:30. He had to leave in an hour.
"Chris, you have to go in an hour."
He looked at the clock too. "I guess I do. Our food got cold. And we need a shower."
"And, you have some news for me?" I arched my eyebrow and raised myself onto my elbows.
"Oh right! That!" His eyes got wide and he sat straight up. "You get to meet the Kids!"
I sat up too.
"AND! I got you a job at JYPE!" He practically yelled. "I'll get to see you more!"
"Wait, what? When, why, how, what?" I asked, more than slightly confused.
He grabbed my hands in his. "I told Jipe that all the commuting and secretiveness was taking its toll on me. I told him that if he wanted me at my best, at my happiest, then I needed more freedom with you. Knowing that you speak Korean and are an Elementary English teacher, he said you could be the Kids English and Western Culture tutor."
"That sounds like a made up, pretend, job just to watch us from a closer point of view. Because I'm assuming that we still can't let anyone know about our relationship. And what about my job now? I know it's summer break, but I'm in a contract. And the school pays for my apartment. Where am I going to live?" My mind was racing and I was trying to stay calm. But this was a lot to take in.
Chris let go of my hands. He hung his head and sighed.
I could tell that I had hurt him. Which is not what I intended to do. I suddenly realized that he thought he was doing something good. Something for us. But this was one of the downfalls of the age gap. He wasn't used to thinking about adult things like job security, rent, and stability.
"Chris." I took my finger and raised his head so he was looking at me. "I'm sorry. I know you were just trying to help. I appreciate that. But did you consider what was going on in my life?" I asked gently in a low voice.
"Babe. I just... I guess I didn't. Those kinds of things never occurred to me."
"I'll need to work this all out. It's not that I don't want to be with you more, or meet the Kids, or have more 'freedom' with you. But I have responsibilities and real life worries like where I'm gonna live."
"Are you saying yes?" He smiled slightly and I saw a glimmer in his eye.
"I'm not saying no. But I'm also not just abandoning my students. I have to make sure that the school will let me out of my contract, that they have someone to take my place, and YOU have to figure out where I'm going to live. Because if I can get out of my contract I'll need a place to live." I said.
"That's fair. That's totally fair." He stood up and grabbed my hand to stand me up too. He hugged me, kissed me and led me down the stairs to the bathroom.
We didn't have much time before he left and I was starving. He showered quickly while I heated up the food. He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and ran his hand through his hair.
"Chris. If you want to make it back by your curfew I suggest you put your clothes on immediately." I said looking away but still looking at him from the corner of my eye.
He did that damn side smirk and winked at me. "Maybe I don't WANT to be back by my curfew."
"You know you don't mean that. You've pushed the envelope enough right now." and instead of continuing that argument, which would have been dangerous, I went into the bathroom to take my shower.
I came out a few minutes later and he was dressed and eating at the kitchen table. He winked at me again. I almost gave in and he knew what he was doing. We only had 30 minutes before he had to leave. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I continued walking and went upstairs to get dressed.
Was I really going to leave the school and work for JYPE? Was I really going to do this? What the hell was going on? What even was my life right now? So much to think about and figure out. I couldn't think about it any more right now. I put some new jammies on and went back downstairs to eat.
Chris reheated my food and poured me a glass of ice water. I sat down and ate quickly. Chris was on his second plate of everything. That man could eat. I don't know where it all went because his six pack (but really an eight pack) never went anywhere.
"I need to change the subject." I said in between bites.
"Ok. To what?"
"What are you working on in the studio?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm working on a new song for some of the trainees to practice with. Jipe wants to do a new competition show and wants original material for them." he said.
"And you're the money-hit-maker so not only do you have to work on SKZ songs but also other songs because Jipe's material is shit and he's afraid to admit that." I uttered.
"Someone is upset."
"You know I don't like him, how he treated Hyunnie, how he treats you, how he thinks his shit doesn't stink, and how just in general a terrible human being he is."
"Yes I do know all that. I also know he signs my paychecks. So I have to 'be ok with it' even if I don't like it."
I huffed and finished my kimbap. I took a drink. "I wish this was a beer and I wish my kidneys would let me drink. He makes me want to drink."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also don't want to see you in the hospital so don't drink any of that."
He stood up, washed his plate, put the takeout containers in the trash, and put on his hat. I joined him at the door.
"You think about what I said and I'll do my homework too. This is really important to me. It's a big step in the direction we want to take." He said.
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. "I will." I gave him a small smile.
And with that he left and I was again staring at the back of the door, alone.
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