Two Thousand Miles from Me

10. Home

one month later

Tessa turned onto the lane that would lead to the ranch, and sped up. The gravel road let off dust as she went, and the closer she got the more she ached for her home, this place. She knew in a few seconds the barns and the house would come into view. Tessa stuck her left hand out the window, it was brace-free and her other injuries were slowly fading as well. The bruises around her neck had been the first to go, her headaches had stopped and even though she would always have a scar, the cut over her eye was healing too. Her ribs still hurt sometimes, but she hadn't needed painkillers for weeks. It had been one of her mother's stipulations for this trip— Tessa needed to be clearheaded when she arrived, and while driving the 2,000 miles by herself.

The ranch came into view just then, and it took her breath away. She was finally home. Tessa slowed to a stop in the gravel drive, and put the car in park. She jumped down out of the truck and was immediately greeted by a fluffy black and white dog.

"Ace!" she squealed, kneeling down to hug him and he kissed her face for her efforts. He was so excited to see her despite never meeting her before and that made her laugh even though she felt nervous.

"That's some guard dog, huh?" said a familiar voice and Tessa looked up to see Tyler and Jase coming towards her, Tyler was smiling at her.

"Hey Tyler," she called, but suddenly feeling shy now that she was finally here and Jase was staring at her. Ace stood at her feet, licking her hands. Tyler looked from Jase to Tessa and smiled, patting his best friend on the shoulder he said,

"I think you two have some things to talk about," and with another grin and a shrill whistle, Ace and Tyler were gone, leaving Jase and Tessa to stare at one another. Tessa cleared her throat and stared at her shoes, now was no time to lose her courage.

"I came to talk to you," she started, shoving both hands in her jean pockets, "I-I mean, I came to apologize." He looked the same, a little dustier, a little sweaty— but exactly the same.

"Come inside," was all he said but she saw him glance at her throat, her stitches and her healed fingers as they walked towards the house. He opened the front door and Tessa felt a lump rise up in her throat, it smelled like her home. She felt an ache in her stomach as she ran a hand over a few familiar things.

Jase took a seat in his leather chair, and she sat across from him on the couch. He didn't say anything, just stared at her and she couldn't be sure if he was angry or just disinterested in her. She felt her hands tremble as she reached into her pocket.

"I came to give you this," she stated, holding the tiny sonogram out to him hopefully. He waited a moment before leaning forward and accepting it from her. Immediately his eyes were drawn to it and her heart hurt as she watched him study it.

"I'm sorry," she started a little more confidently this time, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," she said. Jase looked up at her but still didn't say anything, his eyes were a little cloudy.

"It was about a month before I left that I started feeling really sick all of the time, I thought it was a bad virus for a while but when it didn't go away I went in to the doctor," she glanced at the sonogram in his hand, remembering her joy on that day, "I was 9 weeks along, and I had no clue," she smiled as she told him the story, "I was ecstatic— I couldn't wait to tell you," she looked down at the floor again as the lump came back into her throat. "You were gone on that trip with Tyler, so I was going to tell you when you got back," she paused and took a deep breath before looking him in the face, "But I lost the baby before you got back." she watched his face soften, and her chest hurt as she recalled the loss of her child.

"It was an accident, I'm not even sure what I did wrong—but I know it was my fault," she saw tears in his eyes now too, "I'm sorry Jase. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I didn't let you in...I'm sorry I lost our baby," she finished.

Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, but she also felt relief; he finally knew the truth now. Tessa watched him, waiting for him to react; it was as if all the stiffness that had been in him when she'd arrived had left. He set aside the sonogram and reached a hand out to her. Tessa swallowed nervously, and took it. Jase gently pulled her off of the couch and into his lap. Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and stared into his face.

"I'm so sorry you lost the baby Tessa. I wish you hadn't done that alone. I wish I could've been with you, we could have grieved our child together," his voice came out ragged and he leaned his forehead on hers.

"Can you forgive me?" she asked quietly, pulling away to see his face again. Jase gave her a sad smile, brushed a strand of blonde hair behind one ear and pulled her in for a kiss before settling her against his chest. Tessa felt more tears overflow onto her face, but she just closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat for a several minutes. Jase was combing through her hair slowly, kissing her forehead every few seconds.

"Of course," he answered, and squeezed her tighter to him.

Later, as the two of them walked hand and hand through the grounds, Jase asked her again,

"Why Graham? Why did you stay with him?" Tessa looked down at their intertwined hands, then back into his face.

"After losing the baby and leaving you, it felt like everything was my fault. The way Graham treated me kind of made sense at the time," she answered with a shrug. Jase stopped and pulled her close again, wrapping his arms around her.

"Will you come home now?" he asked.

"Yes," she said smiling up at him. Jase made a loud whooping sound, Ace barked, Tessa laughed and Jase scooped her up in his arms.

"Did you notice? I bought you a dog."