Save Me (An Eddie Diaz 911 Fanfiction)

Interlude: January 23rd

Karen obviously hadn't considered this. She hadn't considered how difficult those activities would be for Jane on a day like today. She hadn't considered how childless Jane, whose son was not here, might feel going out with her and her son. Karen wasn't thoughtless and she wasn't cruel. She was just trying to get Jane out of the house. She wanted to distract her. Jane knew this, but this bitter part of her heart did not. That gaping hole, the one that currently burned as if it were being prodded with a hot iron, it jabbed and sent such distinct pain that her mind began to associate Karen with pain.

"Well," Karen continued, having no idea that Jane's mind was poisoning whatever words she would choose to speak next. "We just wanted you to come with us. I know today is hard for you and we thought a day out of the house might cheer you up."

"Why would you think that?" Jane spat out, her pain making her uncharacteristically angry. "Why would you think that going out and seeing you with your son would make the loss of my child better?"

Karen let out an audible gasp on the other end of the line. Distantly, Jane felt guilt, but her pain overpowered that feeling, pain overpowered everything.

"Jane-" Karen began, but her words were cut off.

"I'm sorry. You are just...you are trying to be nice. I'm sorry, but leave me alone, Karen. Just leave me alone." Then, Jane hung up and threw her phone violently across the room with a frustrated scream. Felix startled out of the bed and stared over at his human as she stared at the corner and started crying again.

"Why?" her words were mere gasps of air through the tears. "Why? Why would this happen? Why does it hurt so much? I never...I never even got to hold him and it huuuurrrtttssss." She keened, as if an animal in pain, her grief so primal that she lost words again. She stumbled out of bed, towards where her phone had landed and collapsed to the ground where it was. Then, she simply curled up in a ball and gave in.

Felix watched her solemnly, and his yellow-green eyes seemed to empathize. Sometime later, once he allowed her time to cry, he came back and curled up next to her. Letting her cry until she slowly began to calm and sanity began to seep back into her mind with the feeling of the cold, hard floor.

...........

Jane would normally have been scheduled to work that day, but Bobby didn't question it when she asked for it off. He easily made the trade off with Williams. When Jane hung up on Karen, rather than being angry, the woman felt guilty and worried and she immediately relayed to Hen what had happened via phone, as the woman was on shift. As usual, Hen was with Chimney and when Karen called, and she let out a loud curse when Karen told her how emotional Jane had been over the phone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Chimney put both of his hands up and looked towards his partner. "What's wrong?"

Hen aggressively shook her head and held up one finger, a signal to hold on a minute, which only put Chimney more on edge. This, of course, drew the attention of their captain.

"What's going on?" Bobby asked, coming over to where they were seated on the couches in the lounge, his brow furrowing in concern.

"Karen invited Jane spend the day with her and Denny and she freaked out. I think this year is worse than last. Her emotions are probably closer to the surface after what happened in October and with her new medicine. I mean...I can't imagine what she's going through."

Eddie was passing to go to the kitchen, but when he heard Jane's name and was instantly on alert. They'd been doing better since Christmas. They seemed to be falling back into a friendship, hesitantly however, overly aware of how they had previously crashed and burned. As it was, they were taking it one day at a time, and that pace seemed to suit them perfectly.