To have and to loathe

• 𝐂hapter 26

The last forty-eight hours of my life had been a total mind fuck.

From having sex with Killian again, to enduring long, chatty conversations focused on weddings and love, then dealing with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and relatives all prying into my personal life. Not to mention, the tedious shopping spree. Bridal dress testing. Pre-wedding photoshoot, and now, having lunch with Killian.

I tossed my plate of food back and forth, and I could tell Killian was staring at me but I didn't bother to lift my head. I continued to make a mess, knowing I was just half a day away from selling myself to him in front of the church.

"You need to stop playing with your food and eat." He finally spoke.

"I can't seem to work up an appetite," I replied honestly, still stirring my food.

"Why?"

I wrinkled my forehead. "I don't know."

"Well at least eat just a little." He bit irritably.

My head snapped up. "Don't tell me what to do."

"It appears someone needs to." He leaned back in his chair on the other side of the small walnut table. "Do you even eat at all? You look as if all your bones are about to evaporate."

I gritted my teeth. "I'm pregnant. It's normal to look this way."

"Really? I heard pregnant women glow. Your definition of what is normal needs to be amended."

I dropped my fork. I knew I wasn't as beautiful as half the women he hung around with, but he didn't have to rub it in. "Well, you certainly didn't think so when you were railing into me last night, did you?"

His eyes snapped up like I suddenly had his full attention. I caught him off guard, I just knew it. He was silent, too stunned to speak, I presumed. "What?" I continued tauntingly. "Don't tell me you've suddenly forgotten all about the this pussy is mine talk or the open your eyes and watch me fuck you talk?"

He seemed taken aback and took a moment to recover from the spell before glowering at me. "What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, Hope."

"Why?" I mocked. "Scared you'll catch feelings and fall in love?"

A mocking laugh rumbled out of his throat. "It might be easy for you to fall in love with just any man that takes you to bed but it's not for me."

My brow raised. "Are you trying to imply that I am cheap?"

He shrugged, taking a piece of apple into his mouth as his sharp indigo eyes prodded my face. "I never said you were but I wasn't the one throwing myself on you last night, now was I?"

I was about to answer when my mind registered what he'd said. What the—" I did not throw myself at you."

His gaze roamed my body. "Don't try to convince me otherwise." He took another bite of the apple. "You've already failed."