Bucky X Y/N

time of the month 🩸👹

i wake up with a moan and groan and run to the bathroom

i immediately pull down my pants and realize it's that time of the month

not werewolf because i ain't no remus lupin

but period

"bucky" i moan in pain

"yes my avocado seed"

"get me an avocado seed"

"no problem my little french fry"

i see bucky run down stairs and out the door and into his car

i can see through walls because i'm not like other girls and i have super human senses

"ughhhhh" i cry out and run towards my bed landing perfectly because when i was 7 years old i won 898887729293839 gold medals at the olympics for gymnastics

swallowing avocado seeds like pills always helped me with my intense cramps

"hello" i hear someone say from the door

i jolt my head to the side and see some hot pale ghost standing there

"w- w- w- w- w- w- w- who a- a- a- a- a- are y- y- y- y- y- y- you i ask" my tiny little voice breaking on me

"my name is edward cullen and i'm hear to drink the scrumptious blood from your budussy"

"HELP"  i scream out hoping that dylan o brien aka my prince charming will come save me from this evil budussy eating machine

instead of the gorgeous dylan o brien in a leather jacket my blue eyed husband struts in and past the shakira spawn landing in front of me

"don't worry baby gorl, no one will eat that budussy but me"

"oh that you bucky boo boo"

bucky whips out his gun and point it at edwards face

"bucky boo boo boo, he's a vampire he won't die from a bullet"

"your right my smart baby gworl"

i smirk like my idol debby ryan

bucky boo instead pulls out an avocado seed and chucks it at diamond boys head.

diamond boy gets knocked out and i cheer for my precious buck

"but baby boy, now what about my avocado seed?"

"don't worry my little wild salmon, i bought you extras"

"oh thank you bucky boo boo boo boo boo boo"

i swallow the avocado seed whole and i immediately feel better.

"i love you my hundred dollar bill" i say

"i love you too my little beluga whale" bucky says and he also does a whale call

"that was so romantic" i say

we begin to make out before my phone rings