Indecisive (Loki Laufeyson x Bucky Barnes x Reader)

CHAPTER 26

"I'm sorry." he said, "God, I'm so sorry Y/N." 

Silence was all I could offer him as I looked up at him. He knew I forgave him even though I didn't voice it. He could see it. 

"I don't mean to intrude but I'm pretty sure she's here to see me." I heard Tony say from beside me. 

I tilted my head back and laughed, "Hi Tony" I smiled. 

"Hey stranger." he smiled, pulling me into a tight embrace. 

"I missed you." 

"I missed you too kiddo."

He pulled away and looked at me, "Let's head upstairs and get you settled in okay?" 

"Okay." I grabbed my suitcase from behind me and pulled it towards the elevator. 

It felt good to be back. Standing around the people that made me feel the most at home that I had been in a long time. In Asgard I was a guest, but here I felt like they were all my family. 

Tony lead me to the room I had stayed in before and gave me a moment as I turned to open the door. 

It looked like no one had stepped inside save for the off chance that someone changed the sheets or vacuumed. I looked to one of the corners, the sticky notes already fallen onto the floor. 

I wheeled the suitcase inside and shut the door behind me, not bothering to turn on the lights. The shadows from the windows gave me enough light to make my way around. 

I slowly walked to the bed, peeling back the covers as I had time and time again before I left. I slipped into the bed pulling the covers back onto me as I curled my knees to my chest. My breaths came out faster and uneven. It wasn't that the past events in this room haunted me— it wasn't that at all. 

I just hadn't been alone in a long time. There always seemed to be a presence around even if I was alone in my rooms a feeling that I knew I wasn't alone, or at least not really. Now that Loki was gone that presence had seemed to leave me, taking a certain piece of me with it. 

I felt as though I could call out Loki's name and even if he hated me, even if we had been bickering and arguing all day. Even if we had almost killed each other and walked away to take a break, I felt as though I always knew he would be there. That he could always hear me no matter how far away we were. 

I swallowed the lump that began to form in my throat. 

He's gone now.

I told myself over and over again because in all seriousness it still didn't feel real. He continuously boasted about how he was a god and how he was undefeated. I didn't know if I would let myself believe that he was gone. 

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up it was dark out. I rubbed my eyes and pushed my hair out of my face before I sat up in bed. I got out from under the covers and made my way to the sink. 

I turned on the faucet and cupped cold water in my hands before splashing it on my face. I placed my hands on either side of the sink, the cold marble sending a chill up my arms. 

I stood and stared at myself. My mind was clear, no thoughts and no worries. I looked at the outline of my face, my eyebrows and nose. I looked at every feature that stood out on my face as if centering myself before I left the room. 

I walked back out and paused, my hand above the door knob. 

You can do it. Just go get a glass of water and come back. 

I didn't know why I needed to prep myself before leaving the room. Why I needed to reassure myself that I wouldn't be exposed to people because they were probably asleep by now, but why? Why did I need to reassure myself of that?