A/N: I know it's been a bit since I last posted. Hoping to be back on more regularly. Enjoy this chapter! X-C
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<< things seemed to be deteriorating right in front of him, and he felt like the past was creeping up being him and he just felt trapped.>>
Niall was used to feeling alone... but even this was a new low.
He had absolutely no one...
There was nobody to tell him everything would be okay.
He was alone and trapped in this endless sea of doubt, despair, and fear...
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His mind was constantly replaying the one quote that used to give him hope and encouragement.
"It's not always easy, but that's life. Be strong and know that better days are ahead."
However; now, this meant absolutely nothing to him.
Those days have long since passed...
It didn't even matter how hard he tried... because nobody could just let him move on.
Not even his family.
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His mistake now made his life a public spectacle. At school, in public, but even worst of all at home.
Home was supposed to be this safe place, but to Niall it was once again a place of hell.
The constant stares of self pity. The inability to just ever have a bad day.
He felt trapped and forced to act in some life that everything was okay... even when it wasn't.
He was alone.
Harry wasn't even there... well that wasn't totally true. Harry
was always there, but not to be supportive. Harry was just that constant reminder of what he did.
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Niall furiously wiped the tears away pulling out a notebook that had long since been shoved in his drawer.
Hey world,
I was told to keep this diary... a diary of a sick twisted life with a past that should have killed him. Now here we are nearly a year later and I'm still just as trapped. It's different now though my family does care... but it's too much. Is caring too much even a thing? Honestly, I don't know but all I do know is I'm stuck. Im stuck living this constant facade that never fades. Im stuck hearing the constant murmurs from classmates, teachers, doctors, the general public... even family. I'm just inevitably stuck... I wish I could end it all, but I can't do that again... two attempts? Would i succeed this time? It's those questions in my alone time that haunt my mind and prove my theory. Nobody truly cares about you... it only matters is if there okay, and if there just following up so they can move on. They don't really how addicted I truly am... life would be so much simpler if.
Niall Malikson
He took a deep breath as his mind eased slightly with the help of the journal entry. Maybe writing in a journal like doctor Denison referred him to do isn't so bad... maybe he could do this?
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Zayn and Louis looked at the stairs staring at there sons door that had been slammed shut. It had been nearly an hour since they left the small forest.
They hadn't said a word. Neither of them really having the words what to say.
"What do we do?" Zayn asks speaking up first looking at his husband in a complete loss for words.
"What we should have been doing in the first place... giving him the trust he deserves" Louis answered truthfully.
"But do we trust him?" Zayn asks silently
"We should... it's been how long and he hasn't had a relapse. Sure he's thought about it but he hasn't acted on it. Even doctor Denison stated that we need to show him how proud we are and that we do trust him... we have really screwed up baby. We have to make this right"
Zayn was a little unsure but nodded. Whether or not he fully trusted Niall or not was still up for debate. Louis was however, right about one thing and that was how bad they screwed things up again.
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A/N: hey everyone CC here and I know I haven't been on her in awhile. I promise my stories are still being written and I hope you will accept this apology. Life has been life as I'm sure everyone can relate to. I'm just taking it a day at a time as always. I hope this chapter was okay, and this is for the hope that chapters will start to be added more frequently.
Do you agree with Louis that trust is key to help Niall?
Would you be able to trust someone especially knowing what they had done in the past?
As usual if you have any ideas or thoughts let me know. I'm always open to new ideas! Thanks for reading! I love you all x-C
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Life continues
Fanfiction"It's not always easy, but that's life. Be strong. Know that there are better days ahead" This had become a mantra to Niall, but better days never seem to came, and honestly he didn't know what strong was any more. It was simply just a feeling he us...
