Behind the Barriers

06

Sanay naman akong tinitingnan ng lahat pero hindi ko alam kung bakit naiilang ako ngayon.

"Atty. Perez," bungad ni Kuya sabay tango.

"Mr. Martinez."

"Oh, come on, we are out of the workplace. You can call me Sebastian."

Tumango lamang ang katabi ko. Sinimulan ko na siyang ipakilala sa kanila. I did not even bother to hide the boredom from my voice.

"Naku! I never thought this day would come!" ani Mom.

Muntik nang maubo si Kuya nang uminom ng wine. Kaagad siyang dinaluhan ni Ate Irina. Sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin.

"I hope that you'll enjoy the party, hijo. There are a lot of foods around the area. You can also dance..." Nagtaas-baba pa ng kilay si Mom kaya nagbuntong-hininga ako.

"Thank you, Mrs. Martinez."

"Just call me Tita Karen," ani Mom.

Nagsimula na akong magsisi sa desisyon ko. I can also sense that Atty. Perez was starting to regret the decision to agree with me, too.

Base sa maliit na panahong nagkasama kami, alam ko na tahimik talaga siyang tao. Hindi rin siya palangiti. Kahit ngayon na kinukulit siya ni Mom at Dad ay blangko pa rin ang mukha niya.

Ate Irina caught me watching Atty. Perez. She smiled at me. Nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin at hindi na siya pinansin.

"I told you, makulit sila," sabi ko nang makalayo sa parents ko para kumuha ng wine.

"Yeah. Sobra."

Mahina akong natawa. I saw him looking at me so I frowned.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

Umiling siya.

"K."

We started to talk about the party. It turned out that he also knew some of the names here. Maayos naman palang kausap si Atty. Perez kung tungkol sa trabaho.

He looked very intelligent. He sounded very intelligent.

I was not really familiar of boys. Maybe I also lack socialization skills. Kaya naman nakakatuwa na hindi pinapansin ni Atty. ang mga awkward loopholes ng pag-uusap namin.

"Can I excuse myself?" he asked.

"Saan ka pupunta?"

"I'm just going to smoke," aniya habang prenteng nakatitig sa mukha ko.

"Pwede ba akong sumama?"

Napangisi siya. "If secondhand smoke won't bother you."

"Nope. I'm going to smoke, too."

He titled his head in wonder, surprised by my answer. Inirapan ko lamang siya at inunahan siya sa paglalakad.

The cold air greeted us when we went outside. Kaagad akong nagtungo sa may terasa na nakaharap sa lake. Walang tao doon at medyo madilim. I felt him following me.

May mga monoblock na upuan doon. Pinagpagan ko na muna 'yung akin at umupo roon. Sumunod naman si Atty. Perez at umupo na rin sa katabi na monoblock.

"Naninigarilyo ka rin pala?" tanong niya.

"Yeah, but not always. Noong college, madalas, pero ngayon, hindi na masyado."

He handed me a stick and lighter. I thought it was one of those petty brands but I was surprised that it was Nat Sherman.

I used to buy expensive cigarettes like that before. Kung papatayin mo lang naman ang baga mo, sagarin mo na at pati wallet mo ay patayin mo na rin.