Best Served Fake

two // kiss my flirtatious ass

It was fun. Sydney was always so animated and excited when she was pursuing Kai, and even though the real focus of her attention was a dark-haired boy with a flirtatious smile and a bad attitude, I was the one who helped devise the plans; the one who was on the receiving end of her complimentary smile and kind words. And there had always been something about Sydney Collins that was a little bit intoxicating.

I sighed. "Yeah, okay, whatever."

Sydney clapped her hands together excitedly, and proceeded to drag me across the lawn to ruin Kai Delaney's chance of a fun night with a petite blonde.

Well, maybe not entirely, I thought, as Sydney marched us within earshot of the pair, and I heard the girl's breathy, "That's so funny. Would you maybe want to catch up later?"

Kai smiled down at her, and that smile was almost... provocative. "I would love to catch up later, Marie."

It was easy to see why Sydney, and most of the other girls who had laid eyes on him, were a little bit in love with Kai Delaney. It was all in the shock of black hair, the twinkle of his eyes, the long lines of a relatively impressive body, and the bad boy persona that was Sydney's kryptonite. You could say that he was somewhat quick-witted and somewhat good-looking (okay, mega hot, but I wasn't going to admit that). He was nice enough, I suppose, in the kind of way that made him palatable enough; toeing the line between edgy asshole and hinting at the heart of gold. Sydney explained it to me once; "You know you'd have a few years of crazy, wild, passionate fun with him, but there's enough kindness there that you can imagine taming him to the white picket fence and the 2.4 children."

But as he spoke to Marie, I noticed a few small things that made me roll my eyes. Kai was leaning toward her, as if she was sprouting the most fascinating sweet nothings in the universe, and the way he was leaning back against the car was so relaxed, it was practically intentional. Yeah, Kai Delaney was a shameless flirt.

Sydney, however, was worse.

I hung back as she placed herself squarely between Marie and Kai. "Hey," she said, with a devastating smile. She didn't bother to look at Marie. She wasn't the kind of girl who felt the need to glare, or mark her territory. By the virtue of looking like Sydney, the territory was claimed.

Marie muttered a quick, "Talk to you later, Kai," and slunk off. You could practically see the tail between her legs.

Kai didn't seem put off by Sydney's antics. "Hello, Syd," he said, with a flirtatious amusement, as if he hadn't just been flirting with a different girl. Kai Delaney might be hot and witty and clever, but he was also a little bit of a dick. "What brings you here?"

Sydney tilted her head and leaned in closer to him. "Just happened to be in the area."

I snorted a laugh.

At the sound, Kai looked over Sydney's head, directly at me. Kai had a way of making his gaze feel as if it was seeing all of you, from one cursory glance. It would probably be off-putting, but he always did it with a trademark smile that made it almost charming. "Hey, Little Valerie," he said.

I stuck my middle finger at him, with a saccharine smile. He didn't seem particularly offended.

Once upon a time, I'd been the shortest kid in my year by a long, long way. I'd been stuck at Kai Delaney's elbow in height at the age of eight; he'd towered over me even then, and had taken to calling me little Valerie. Unfortunately, I still remained slightly height-deficient. Unfortunately, he still called me little Valerie. Because he was a dick.

Sydney tapped his chest, turning his attention back to her. "And what are you doing here?"

Kai shrugged elegantly. Everything he did seemed to be effused with grace, like a ballet dancer or a panther; it was difficult to make limbs as long as his move with any coordination, not that I would know, being diminutive in stature. "I was dropping Izzy off. Nothing particularly exciting."

"Would you rather be doing something else," Sydney said, in a voice that was overt, sultry, and deeply disturbing. Kai was a better flirt than Sydney, but lord, was she relentless.

"Oh, gross," I complained, crossing my arms.

Kai pushed Sydney off him slightly, which made a vague expression of hurt and disappointment cross her face, before she had the chance to school her features back into careful ease. Kai grinned at me. "Problem, little V?"

"Yeah," I said, with a small frown. I tapped at my throat. "I think my gag reflex just committed suicide."

He barked out a laugh, and, with his attention focussed firmly on me, Sydney shot me a look that said Valerie! Stop it.

But while I'd always been good at playing mediator, and carefully selecting my words, I'd never been good at actually keeping my mouth shut.

"I mean, c'mon, guys, it's a public park," I continued. "There's kids around. Keep things PG. I'm almost an adult and I'm kind of uncomfortable."

"Do I make you nervous?" Kai asked, with the kind of ease that suggested making girls nervous was not an uncommon phenomenon for guys who looked like Kai Delaney.

I grimaced. "Yeah. I'm nervous that I'm going to puke all over my shoes." I clicked the heels together. "I want to wear these tonight, and I can't afford a stop to the cleaners."

"Deepest apologies," said Kai, but he didn't appear particularly contrite. He rested back on his heels, putting a few extra inches between himself and Sydney. She didn't seem thrilled about the development.

"Thank you," I said.

"I was apologising to Sydney," said Kai, winking at my best friend. "Because her best friend is a party pooper."

I rolled my eyes. The sound of bad boy Kai Delaney using the phrase party pooper was strange enough, but the overt insult was slightly overkill.

Sydney linked her arm with mine. "The most delightful party pooper in the world, though."

I grinned over at her. For all of her faults, Syd was loyal. I'd inadvertently ruined her chances with Kai for today, and yet she remained unwaveringly steadfast in her support. "I love the shit out of you, Syd."

"Why bother with me when Little Valerie's flirting far surpasses mine?" said Kai. He brushed Syd's shoulder with the edges of his fingers. "You have such a charmer on your hands, Sydney."

Syd smiled, and it was pure mischief. "You were only ever a fun sidepiece, Kai. Val is forever my number one, and she knows it."

I waved cheekily at Kai. "Yeah, Kai. You were only ever a fun sidepiece. So kiss my flirtatious ass."

"Thanks for offering," said Kai. "But this is a public park, you know."

"Funny."

"I thought so," he said, his lips tilting into a smile. He clearly found my commentary amusing, because I could see the mirth in his eyes. He wasn't the worst verbal sparring partner either, I supposed. "But I will if you wanted to ask at a more opportune time."

I mimed a gag again. "Oh, no. My shoes."

Sydney snorted.

By the time Sydney and I had sauntered away, leaving Marie to seek Kai out again and lean flirtatiously all over him, I was fidgeting compulsively with the edge of my shirt. "Mad at me?" I asked.

Sydney laughed. "So mad."

"Forgive me?"

Sydney ruffled the top of my head. "You're my forever number one, Little Valerie. I would forgive you anything."

Her glossy dark hair brushed my forehead as I dropped my head onto her shoulder in an impromptu hug. "Same."