take it how you want it

betrayal.

i never thought you would
never thought i would feel like this again
this gut retching feeling
you did this
you caused my walls to come crashing down
in a matter of seconds
in those seconds time moved slow
i could see everyone moving but me
it was like my system had been shocked
i couldn't move
and for a second i couldn't breathe
my mind is wrapping around every detail
every word
every action
that you made, said, or did
in all those moments you never betrayed me like this
even when you ended things this hurts more
you said it was to protect me
i call it bullshit
if you never wanted me
why did you keep me
for so long
i got to know you
hold you
kiss you
be with you
all those things i did and you did them with me
as soon as the word "friends" sunk in
of course it hurt
but i thought being friends would be enough
but it's not
now that we are "friends" i know you're doing all those things with other girls
call me selfish but i wanted all of that to myself
i wanted you to be mine
but of course life doesn't work that way
nothing does
so when you betrayed me
i got angry
i tried to hold it in
but the damage i had been holding back behind those walls hit me
it all hit me at once
i spiraled in my own thoughts
i felt my body shake
my teeth chatter
and tears come flooding out of my eyes
i was angry
i was hurt
i was sad
i felt all these things at once and you didn't care
you know me better than myself
you knew that if you did one small thing
it would make a huge affect
to me
but not to you
you don't care about me
you only care for yourself
i guess that is human nature but it's also heartless
you are heartless
you're not the one i loved
your true colors are showing
was it all fake?
i don't know
i only know that i am hurt
i'm angry
i'm sad
but most of all i've been betrayed