The Review Court

Fighting For April || Reviewer: Eadlynn143

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Book: Fighting For April
Author: ThoseThreeWords 
Reviewed By: Eadlynn143
Type of Review: Chimera
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We want to extend an apology for the long wait to receive this review, but here it is!

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Book Cover/Title:
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Title seems pretty original! And though I haven't read the part where it ties to the story, it's still relevant. The book cover is beautiful.

It has all the necessary details, though I would suggest writing out the full account/author name since readers usually look up the name given on the cover and "T.T. Words" would show them some other result. If the book has a darker arc further in then maybe put some filters on the cover so it looks a bit dark/gloomy and can properly portray the overall theme of the book.

Blurb:
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The before gives a good look into May and April's relationship. The after is poetic and I quite liked it. The third paragraph however seems too describing, maybe remove "Evie (who May has crushed on since the day they met) starts dating another person" writing it as, "Someone who holds a special place in her heart starts dating another person, and same for "Rowan (the person who inspired May's love for art) confesses he has feelings for her."

You can just edit this to: "Rowan, a close friend who gave her exposed her to a skill she has grown to love, confesses his feelings for her." The next paragraph is well-done and shows that the readers would relate to this book.

Chapter by Chapter Review:

Chapter 1:
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The first chapter was really good; it shows their relationship before and after the incident nicely. There are subtle hints in the chapter but nothing completely gives away what happened. Language and grammar are pretty standard, but I would recommend replacing a few periods with commas.

"April did well in school... April has a boyfriend." This would make more impact if it was in italics. It would show that this line is a criticism from her parents and has affected May.

In the next paragraph, you can consider restructuring the line: "What happened had happened."

Chapter 2:
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Alternating between the before and after is really smart and a good way to keep the readers interested. I really liked how Evie and May's talk didn't seem forced, but the conversation did seem to be like younger kids have.

Evie and May are in Year 5, so I'm assuming that they're 10-11 years old and even though they are young, kids aren't suddenly that open to strangers especially. It may be understandable for Evie since she doesn't have a lot of company with peers her own age.

Chapter 3:
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The post-puberty description is perfect. Changing "Mr. Peterson who isn't supposed to even be an English teacher" to "Mister Peterson who isn't even supposed to be an English teacher." would be more grammatically correct.

"I was walking to the toilet when-" I think replacing "toilet" with "washroom" or "restroom" would be better.

In the same paragraph, next line, you could replace "our circle of people" to "the circle of people." Next paragraph: "Oh my gosh, May... it's a story."  "Story" in italics would make more of an impact. Unrequited love! Very well written, because I, as a reader, could feel May's sadness. Also, grammatically "April and I" is correct, so you can edit that in the place of "me and April" and in other instances, too.

Chapter 4:
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This chapter gives a nice insight to their family background, tells about May's mother and aunt, how their relationship can be seen in May and April and the love their aunt has for the sisters. The content in brackets would be well if written normally, for example, "April and I went to her house which was a short walk away from the high school and got picked up by mom on her way home." The introduction of Rowan is sweet and this chapter also hints towards the romantic liking of May towards Evie.

Chapter 5:
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I would recommend not using short forms. "Prac" should be written as "practical." The sentence sounds a bit confusing, so I would suggest rephrasing it, maybe edit out the "not long in."

In "A job, would do you good and study will do you good.",t o remove the repetitiveness, you can phrase it like: "I agree. A job and study will do you good."

Chapter 6:
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"I felt her hand patting down on my hair." Here, you can replace the word "patting" with "smoothening."

Since Phineas and Ferb is a cartoon it would be better to write it in italics. "Twinkling lights" could be written as "fairy lights" since that's the proper name and readers might assume different meanings of twinkling lights.

Chapter 7:
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Second paragraph, avoid repetition and replace "April and I" in the second sentence with "we."

This chapter was the best up until now; the pain, fear, and obliviousness were very well described. The second last paragraph could be rephrased a bit to something like, "Who or what did this to my sister? The girl I looked up to? The person so strong that nothing or no one ever even phased her?"  Last paragraph, "still with shock" should be changed to "still in shock." The last line could be in a paragraph change and all italics.

Chapter 8:
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"Things that fit her snuggly looked a little loose in areas it shouldn't and often cropped way too short."

If this line is comparing the two then you should mention it, add something like, "fit her snuggly, but on me were loose in areas it shouldn't be" and if it's not and just a description of Evie then the paragraph would be better without this line.

  I would highly suggest editing out "And you're different." The 'Not like the other girls' trope is overused and there is a list of things wrong with it. Replace it with something a bit more meaningful.

Overall Thoughts:
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It would be nice to use a calendar/ put date stamps at the beginning of the chapters since there are many time skips and it would be helpful to the readers. The writing is beautiful and there are minimal grammatical/spelling errors. Most of the sentences you've put in brackets don't need to be written that way, and would do perfectly well if they were written normally. The undercover walkways could be written as tunnel hallways, unless that's what they're called.  The story is really captivating especially when you are portraying May's fears. All that I read was beautiful but I believe adding a few pieces of prose here and there would perfect the emotional descriptions. Usually using slang is not good but you haven't overused it so it can be overlooked. PS- The art is awesome as well!

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