Control freak [18+]

Chapter 8: Company

*Anthea's pov*

I wake up from a great sleep wondering where am I.

My memory doesn't come back until a few seconds after I wake up.

Then I remember I slept over spade's house.

I quickly throw the covers off of me, breathing quickly.

I need to get out of here, I can't breathe.

My attacks can happen at random times.

Brandon's head instantly shoots up at me getting up, but I ignore him.

I hurry downstairs nearly tripping on the staircase.

I make eye contact with spade while he's cooking, but I'm to busy trying to get out that I don't even admire his eyes.

I try to unlock the door.

"What's wrong?" Spade says, grabbing my wrists and turning me towards him, as I see a tiny bit of worry in his face.

I don't say anything as my only focus is getting out, to fresh air.

"A panic attack?" He says breathlessly probably worried, as I just nod over five times. I don't even notice that he recognizes panic attacks, by the look in his eyes, he knows them all to well.

He opens the door for me, knowing that's what I need at the time.

I hurriedly rush away from him, taking deep breaths.

"1....2...3" I count, it helps me calm down.

"15" I say, being able to breathe once again.

I open the door to spades house, not even looking at him, just at the floor seeing his shoes I say "can you take me to my house"

I feel ashamed. I wish I didn't have anxiety.

"So early?" He says.

I look into his eyes and he sees my tear filled eyes as they almost drop, and frowns.

I need some time away from him. I need to think about if I actually like him or if it's just lust. It's wrong to say something like that, especially as a Christian, but it's the truth.

"I wanna go to my house" I repeat, as I blink and the tears fall.

I need to see my mom, now. She's the only one who can calm me down, properly. I still feel stirred up as it is.

"Ok" he says simply.

I tell him the location and he calls someone to drop me off.

God, why am I like this? I want to be normal.

No, no more tears. I've never been a person who cries literally all the time, but it's getting harder to keep the tears in.

I'm starting to cry daily, and I hate it.

I get into the car not looking back.

We arrive at my house quickly, the drive going smoothly.

I grab the key that we leave under the rug in our front yard. Only our neighbor Ms gates an elderly lady, and Lily know about this key, other then me and my mom.

"Mom I'm home" I say, as I walk in putting the key back outside under the rug.

My mom comes into the living room, her hair looking disheveled. Her eyes roam my body for any signs of injuries.