Hoter 101

Desperation

[Listen to the song above for the best experience or listen to it on your own; Song: This Side of Paradise by, Coyote Theory

You may also listen to your own song if you would like]

I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry.
i don't know what I did but I can't keep going like this.
We can't keep doing this.
Actually, I don't know if you can, I hope you can't.
It hurts so much
seeing you talk to everyone else but me.

Could you at least explain to me
why you wont even glance at me.
I miss your terrible hugs, your nervous palms slightly sweating
every time they're in mine.

Are you lonely? Our fingers always danced when they met
If your lonely, please, come and find me.
Baby, my darling
I am here for you, just come find me.
I can't keep my eyes off of you
I always want to close gap between us.

I can't stand the distance, why are you avoiding me?
Is it because I said that?
It was a joke I swear, I'm not even ready to think about it just..
I'm sorry I couldn't help it I miss you so much.
Your hand, your hug, your smile, your laugh.
I miss when you would get flustered and flush red.
Thinking of it makes my heart feel like its being squeezed
and like someone is punching me in the stomach.

Do you miss me too?
Or are you already over me?
Please... I want to know.
Do you still think of me before you sleep?

I thought that I was fine
that I could go on without you but I can't.
It hurts so much.
It aches so fucking much.
I know writing this won't change it
and I'm sorry if I bother you
but I at least want to be close to you.

Even if it stays platonic.
Even if we stay friends.
I don't want to be just friends
but as long as you're happy
I'm happy, even if that means I'm not the reason.

"No" was the last word I wanted to hear.
Fuck, what am I even doing?
I'm not supposed to fall for someone this easily.

Forget it, I'm already deep down this rabbit hole.
There's no point in trying to climb back up.
Together with you is my favorite place to be.
I just wish you could hold me in your arms
one
more
time.