stockholm syndrome

the end

it was the day before my search officially came to an end.

—

when i woke up, everything was quieter than usual.

normally i would hear the clatter as keiji tried to cook, and satori dropped the plates.

or i would hear the sound of kenma humming as he made his way down the stairs to greet me.

or tadashi, as he cuddled up to me, still fast asleep. his breath warm against my neck.

but today, there was none of that.

it was november 15th, 2017. i wondered where everyone had gone.

i slowly got up from bed and dressed into a shirt keiji had gotten me, and shorts kenma had chosen.

i hummed the tune kenma always hummed as i headed up the stairs. "keiji?"

keiji, where was keiji?

silence.

"tadashi?"

silence.

"sat-"

weeping.

what? who was crying?

i turned the corner to the living room.

satori, head down, his shoulders shaking.

keiji, rubbing satori's back, the same look of sadness and pity on his face.

kenma, curled in a blanket as tears streamed down his cheeks.

tadashi wasn't there. he was outside, i had a clear view of him through the window as he threw things around, raging completely.

"wh-..what's wrong?.."

keiji looked up at me first, leaving satori and slowly walking over to me. he gently grabbed my arms and i melted by his touch.

"what's going on?" "nothi-"

no, i wanted an answer this time.

"no. keiji, tell me why you're all crying."
"it's not a big deal, really."

he was lying. i could tell by the way the glimmer wasn't in his deep blue eyes anymore.

but i didn't want to pressure him. he could tell me when he was ready.

that's what a healthy relationship was like. and keiji and i were boyfriend and girlfriend.

right?

—

after breakfast, everyone seemed a little happier. but i couldn't get a break.

if i wanted to go to the bathroom, kenma would come too.

if i wanted to nap, tadashi was right beside me.

if i sat down on the couch, satori would move me onto his lap.

and keiji, oh keiji, my beautiful, handsome, strong, loving keiji.

he was always holding my hand. touching me in any way he could.

i loved it.

when it was time for me to go to bed, i headed downstairs alone. i waited by the door as i hears the quiet murmurs of the boys above me.

they were talking, but i couldn't tell what about.

i just took off my shirt when i felt someone's warm arms snake around my bare waist.