The Panic

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#long post alert...almost 3000 words ..
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"Ek akhri niwala kha le beta...phir nai khilaugi bas..." Maa said forcing the morsel inside her mouth.
"Maa...ekkhhvvzhahahajjuenemmk" she said gibershishly having food in her mouth...
"Phele kha le...phir batana " maa smiled
"Maa ek tho hum already in mote ho gae hai...dekiye na maa ...huamra peth kitna bada hota jara hai...aur app hume itna khilagi tho hum aur mote ho jaege" she said cutely swoling the last bite.
"Are beta..peth tho dikega hi na...abhi tera pachwa(5)th month shuru ho gaya hai....aur abhi tho tuje aur ache se khana peena chiye...Apne lie bhi aur bache k lie bhi" Maa smiled gently tapping her head.
She smiled touching her tummy....
It was 5th month of her pregnancy...
And her bump was quite visible now. Everyday she felt a new experience within ..she felt her baby growing...
"Panch mahine beet gae maa ..abb jald hi aur 4 mahine bhi beet jayege....phir humara bacha humare god me hoga...." She smiled lost in her world...
"han meri bachi...phir dekna ...kaise tuje aur muje pure ghar me bagaega...apni shaitaniyo se " maa laughed.
"Maa...Baby laat kab marega..." She asked innocently..
"Abi samay hai beta.." maa smiled
"Kya bate hori hai subh subh ...Sas bahu me..." Anubhav came smiling...
He came and kissed maas forehead
"Suprabhat maa" he smiled.
"Suprabhat" she kissed his forehead too.
"Aaj app jaldi uth gae" he kissed her forehead too and smiled....
"Han....jaldi bhi uth gae aur humne aur baby ne nashta bhi kar lia ..." She said proudly ..
"Are Wah...kya bat hai baby...aaj tho baba se pehle uth bhi gae ....ammi ne koi nakhre bhi nai kie....aur bina kuch kahe jaldi breakfast bhi kar lia .." he chuckled and kissed her bump...
"Han...kyu aaj dadi nae apne hatho se ammi aur baby ko breakfast khilaya" she smiled ..
"Maa abb bache aur uski ammi ko khilaya hi hai tho bache k baba ko bbi khila dijiye...." He laughed..
"Teri nautanki khatam nai hogi na..." Maa smiled...
And started feeding him breakfast.
"M
"maa...anubhav ..." Haseena said nervously...
"Han bolo beta..." Maa said .
"Maa voh .. Anubhav ...hume app dono se kuch bat karni hai" she said nervously.
"Kya hua jaan...app thik ho na...kuch bat hai kya .." anubhav said worried.
"Han beta ...kuch taklif hori hai kya...kahi dard tho nai" maa concerned.
"Nai...nai ....voh hume...kuch dino k lie ammi k pass jana hai...hume ammi ki bahut yad ari hai maa ...anubhav...pls...kuch dino se bahut becahini hai...hume ammi k pass jana hai ..." She said pleading...
The thought of haseena going away for a few days made Both Amma's and Anubhav's face fall...
"Hum samajte hai maa...appko humare bina acha nai lagta ..par kuch dino me laut aayenge" she said puppy eyes...
Maa and anubhav looked at each other sadly...but her happiness mattered the most ..and they understood that even Ammi would be missing Haseena....
"Thik hai beta...tera maan hai na ...tu ho aa kuch din..." Amma smiled crassing her face...
" Idea .." Anubhav shouted in excitement..
"kya idea" maa and haseena said in unison.
"Maa...kyu na jab tak Haseena ki delivery nai ho jati...tab tak ammi humare sath aake yahi rahe...aise Haseena ammi aur hum dono k pass rahegi...aur ammi ko bbi Haseena ki degbal karne ka...unke pass rehne ka mauka mil jayega" he sighed...
Haseena looked At maa nervously....
"Yeh tho bahut acha vichar hai beta....Har maa ki arzu hoti hai ...apne beti k pass rehna ...aise me tho Haseena ko apne ammi ki sakt jarurat hai....dono ek dusrre k sath bbi rahegi...hume humari saheli bbi mil h
Jayegi...aur Haseena ko dono maaye...aur humare bache ko dono dadi aur nani ka pyar ek sath..." She smiled...
Haseenas eyes dwelled up with tears...the thought that her family was complete...she dint have to miss her mother anymore....
"Thankyou maa... Thankyou so much ..." She hugged her tightly...
"Meri bachi k ankho me assu aye yeh muje bardash nai hai beta..." She said wiping her tears off.
"Aur hume thankyou....?" Anubhav frowned....
"Thankyou " she kissed
His cheek lightly...and blushed...
Anubhav was shocked that today she felt shy in front of maa..
Maa too gave them a teasing smile...
"Samdhan ji ko hum phone kar dege...aur Anubhav tu unhe lene khud jana...thike...." Maa ordered.
"Tho aaj sham ko....hum ayege na Maa...hume apke hath k pakode...aur ammi k hath ki biryani chiye...plss...humare muh me Abbi se  pani ara hai " she said innocently...
Maa laughed at her antics...
"Han meri rajkumari...apka hukum sar ankho par..abb jaiye
Tayar ho jaye...SHO Sahiba ..app thane k lie late hori hai" maa chuckled kissing her cheek...
She departed towards her room...
She changed her clothes and was combing her hair looking at mirror when Anubhav came and backhugged her....
She closed her eyes to feel his warmth....
"Thankyou Anubhav...app nahi jante ...apne hume kitni badi kushi di hai....hum bahut miss karte hai ammi ko....aaj kal pregnancy mae tho kuch jyada hi ajeeb lagta hai... thankyou bso much ....abb hum maa ammi aur app teno sath ek sath
Reh paege..." She smiled...
Anubhav realised how much she might have missed her mom...
And even her mom staying alone...he felt guilty for not taking this decision before...the happiness in her eyes ..meant everything for him
"Hume maaf kar dijiye jaana....hume yeh nirnay kafi pehele le lena chiye tha" he said ...
"Anubhav ..apne aisa socha voh bbi humare lie bahut hai....abb pati dev hume late hora hai...thane bhi jana hai..." She laughed.
"Acha jane se phele hume huamra good morning kiss tho dete jaiye" he asked mischievously.
To his surprise Haseena pulled him closer and pressed her lips on his ....
"Good morning baby aur baby k ammi ki jaan" she smiled and left...
He remained there startled... On his wife's mood swings...an unknown blush crept on his cheeks..
~~~~
"Kya baat hai MS ...aaj ap badi kush lag rahi hai...." Pushpa ji asked while having lunch...
"Jarur DSP sir ne kuch romantic sa gift dia hoga..." Santu said in her masumiyat..
"Uff yeh..." His voice choaked getting glare
From Karishma....
"Han santosh Anubhav ne gift tho dia hai hume...but koi romantic nai ..but sab se special hai...sab se kimti..." She smiled ...
"Konsa gift dia MS ...Anubhav bhaiya ne" KS smiled...
"Ammi ....." She smiled....
"Matlab" ks Asked quizikly.
She narrated the morning incident...
"Wah MS...yeh tho bahut achi bat hai ..matlab apko dono maao ka ppyar ...aur humare chotu ko ..dadi aur nani ka pyar ek sath mil jayega..." Pushpa ji smiled
"Haan...huamra baby bahut lucky hai...Pushpa ji ...ghar pe dadi nani baba...
Aur thane me bbi nani...bua...masi mama...sab hai.... jidar kidar se bas pyar hi pyar....aise tho humara bacha paida hone se phele hi bigad jayega...." She chuckled...
"Han tho...bigad tho hum isse dehe MS....khub lad pyar se......Apne Bua ki jaan ko .." KS smiled
"Wow...baby...you are soo lucky...." Santu said sitting on her knees and talking to Haseenas bump...
"Apke paida hone ze phele hi apke lie ladaiyan hori hai...par sab se jayda pyar apki santosh masi
Karegi ..and it's a pinky promise...." She said kissing her bump lightly..
Haseena smiled at her innocence...
~~~~
At night...
Haseena was lying in Ammis lap....ammi was gently massaging her head. She was finding eternal peace....
"Ammi.....humne apko bahut miss kia...." She said closing her eyes...
"Ammi ki jaan...humne bhi tumhe bahut miss kia ..hum babut kushkismat hai ...jo tuje aisa sasural mila hai...Varna konsi maa apne beti k ghar itne haq se reh pati hai...." She smiled...
"Yeh apki beti k sath shayd apki ek dost bbi rehti hai...." Maa said entering with a smile...
She took Haseenas feet and started massaging them..
"Maa...pls...h
App humare pairo ko chue hume pasand nai ...pls..." Haseena said ..
"Shshh...ek dam..chup...pairo mae kitni Sujan ho gai hai...beta...aur beti hai meri tu...shanti se leti rahe..." Maa ordered...
Ammi felt blessed that  her daughter is loved so much...
Haseena found eternal peace ..by getting showered with so much love from both mother's...
"Abbi se apne kahne peeene aur excercise pe dyan de beta...nai tho delivery k waqt bahut taklif hoti hai....." Ammi said ... massaging her head.
"Han beta....Abbi se jitna acha kahna kahegi...utni takat milegi... delivery k waqt bahut taklif hoti hai beta...aur mae tho kehti hu tu pregnancy yoga classes join kar le...huamre samay pe tho nai tha...par tumare samay pe suvidha hai tho kyu nai
....taki delivery normal ho...warna C section me tho bahut hi jayada taklif hai....stitches ate hai voh alaag bat hai...par bache k lie bbi normal delivery sahi hai...." Maa added...
All these things made Haseena lost in. Deep thoughts...
About delivery....her baby...the pain...her health...
"Kaha kho gai...." Ammi called her...
"Ah...kahi nai.....voh...Maa...ammi... delivery k waqt bahut dard hota hai kya.....? Humara matlab...sehen na kar sake utna..." She asked nervously.
"Han beta...dard tho bahut jayda hota hai....par dard k bad jab Tera bacha tere god me hoga na.....tho sara dard bhul jata hai.
"par dard bahut jyada hota hai...matlab app logo ko bhi hua hoga na ...khoon bhi bahut behta hoga...na....aur aagar normal delivery nai hui tho kya hota hai...c section me ...humara...maa ammi...hume bahut gabrahat hori hai" ....
She said worried. Maa and ammi saw fear and nervousness in her eyes ....
"Shant beta...koi nai...Abbi tho bahut samay hai...tu bas apna dyan rak...acha kahna kha....yoga join kar le....sab sahi hoga..." Maa smiled.
"Han...aur meri Haseena tho apne aabu ki sher bachi hai..... sab kuch handle kar sakti hai" ammi said caressing her...
She smiled weakly but still those thoughts were ringing in her mind ...
Anubhav was not going to come home today due to some offical work .....
Haseena was unable to sleep without his cuddling and warmth and also her thoughts were troubling her...
She started fidgeting with her phone...
She was suffering her social media...when a few random vedios of women delivering baby came into her feed...
She saw those vedios which added to her
Nervousness and fear ..
Those screams of women...that pain...the way she saw delivering the baby was really painful....
She gently touched her tummy....
And sighed...
"Kuch nai Haseena shant ..." She took deep breaths...
Her anxeity made her surf more vedios and she started reading and watching vedios about c section normal' delivers...
All that things were roaming around her mind...adding to fear and..... Anxieties...
She was finding difficulty in flipping the sides due to her bump... Anubhav was not here to sooth her today....otherwise everyday he swayed her to sleep...
Her thoughts and fears made it worse to sleep...
She decided to go to maas and ammis room
"Maa...ammi..." She called them lightly...
" Kya hua beta...itni rat ko...taklif tho nai hori na..." Maa and ammi panicked.
"Nai...maa..ammi...hume neend nai ari...hume bahut dar lagra hai....hume apke pass sona hai...hume bahut bechani hori hai...." She said nervously.
Maa and ammi sensed her insecurities and fears....
She needed to be calmed.
They made her lay in between...and maa and ammi on both sides started tapping her lightly and telling her the tales of her and anubhavs childhood....ammi started circling patterns on her forehead so that she feels asleep....soon slumber took over her....
"Lagta hai hume yeh delivery wali bat nai karni chiye thi...age se hum dyan rakege...faltu me bechari dar gai hai ....aise halat me itni becahini sahinai hai...." Ammi sighed...
Both kissed her forehead and dozed off to sleep.
But her subconscious mind still feared all things and vedios she has seen...ammis and maas words ..all were subconsciously laid her bad dreams....
She saw in her dream that she is huge pain...but she is unable to deliver her baby....she gave up
...and due to which they lost their child...
She woke up with a jerk......
She was sweating.....
"Anubhav ...." She screamed....
Making ammi and maa wake up...
"Huamra bacha.... Anubhav" she fumbling ....
"Haseena....kya hua beta...sab thik hai..."
"maa...ammi...anubhav .... anubhav ko phone lagaiye...pls...." She started crying....
"Kya hua beta...bata tho sahi... koi bura sapna deka..." Maa said giving her water...
She was sweating and fearing like anything...
Pregnancy had made her more vulnerable ....she had more emotional cravings....she craved warmth even more....she needed pampering assurance now and then also leading to high chances of having anxiety over little things....
"
Maa gave a call to anubhav...he had to leave his offical work...and came back hurriedly....
"Jaaan........." He called her Sweetly.....watching her just holding her tummy and in tears...
His words...his voice itself calmed her a little bit ...
"Anubhav...." She went and hugged him so tightly...she snuggled into his chest crying and clutching his shirt...
"Anubhav huamra bacha...voh...sapna... dard...hum nai kar pae...." She was fumbling.....
"Haseena abi tho Anu aa gaya na...beta ..Abbi tho rona band kar...abhi tho shant ho ja....bache k lie sahi nai
Hai beta..." Ammi and maa tried to consel her...
" Shanttttttt mere bache....shant...." He carassed her lightly...
"Anubhav huamra baby ko....kuch nai hoga...na ..voh...sapna...me...hum..." She was still fumbling..
"Nai...jaana...shant...apne bura sapna deka hoga....aur kuch nai ..." He said touching her tummy....
"Dekiye ...humara baby bilkul thik hainna...." He said assuring her...
"Janna...phele thoda sa pani pee lijiye ..." She followed his instructions....and rested her head on his chest still sobbing....but much calm than before...
Maa and ammi left the room feeling a need to give them some privacy.
"Abb batiye
..kya bat hai....jo app itna panic kr gai.... .." he asked her calmly.
"Anubhav....voh...hume bahut dar lagra hai...." She said fumbling.
"Kis chiz ka dar bache" he carassed her hair...
She shared all her insecurities with him
..all the things that happened.

... those vedios she saw... That dream...her fears ....
"Haseena...Hum jante hai....ki apka gabrana jayaz hai...
Kyu ki bache ko janam dete waq kafi peeda hoti hai....parantu sona...hume yeh bbi malum hai...ki hum mil kar sab sambal lege....hum apki peeda kam tho nai kar paege...parantu har mod par.. har samay hum sath hoge...aur jab hum sath hoge...tho hum kuch bhi kar sakte hai...kuch bbi seh sakte hai hai na...." He calmed her ...
She breathed heavily...
"Hmmm.." she finally smiled...
"Par anubhav" ...
"Hmmm"
"Voh sapna...humara baby...." She asked teary eyed.."sach hua tho...hum dard nainseh pae...aur humare bache ko kuch ho gaya tho"
"Jaan app bahut jayda gabraiye hui hai ...issyle apko aise Swapan aya...aur app janti hai....ki aisa kuch nai hoga...hum apni jaan ya huamre santan ko kabi kuch nai hone dege....hmmmm" he smiled...
"Sachii..." She asked innocently.
"Mucchi" he laughed....

He made her lay properly and leaned towards her.... tapping her gently.
"Anubhav.... sorry..."
"Sorry kyu jana..." Kissing her forehead.
"Huamri vajah se apko apna sara kam aur imp meeting chod k ana pada .
"jana...humare lie sab se phele duty ati hai..parantu uss bhi pehele humare lie apki sehat aur huamri santan ko suraksha ati hai...." He smiled...
"Ammi aur maa ko bahut pareshan kia humne..." She said weakly...
"Aise bat nai hai bache..." They said entering...
Both sat on either side of her...
"Kitna gabra gai thi...tu tho meri sher bachi hai na....age se aise mat karna bache...tere bache k lie sahi nainhai..." Ammi smiled.
"Hmmm" she smiled weakly..
"Abb so ja beta...." Maa said kissing her forehead...
"App log yahi rahoge na...huamre pass...kahi mat jana ...," She smiled..
All three smiled at her innocence...
Pregnancy had made her so vulnerable...
"Yahi hai" they said in unison...
And she slept with a peaceful smile...
Sometimes a women needs all the assurance support and presence of her loved ones....
To vanish all the insecurities...
Pregnancy might make her vunerable...
But a little warmth and assurance can cure it all....

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