𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫... 𝐲𝐨𝐮 [𝒁𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌]

𝑭𝑰𝑭𝑻𝑯 𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹.

Part two [From Ziggy to Nick].

September 28, 1978.

Dear Nick...

You came... after nearly a year, you came.

You knocked on the door, but since no one visits I looked, out of curiosity and caution, but even that didn't stop the pain I felt when I saw you.

God, the news doesn't do you justice, you are more handsome and that made me weak, for a moment I almost opened the door, but then your eyes looked straight ahead, it was like reliving it all over again.

After the massacre, when I told you about the witch, you looked at me differently, your eyes no longer shone as before, as if you knew you were about to lose me.... Your eyes still don't have the sparkle they had when you entered my cabin.

It took me a lot to tell you to leave and when I did I told you like I did that day.

It hurt, but at the same time it made me smile sad at the memory.

You asked me to open the door, but I couldn't see you because I knew I would fall again... if I ever got up.

Then I attacked you  to leave, but you stayed until we took that little pause after the argument.

I saw the look on your face when you asked me if I hated you, it broke my heart, I wanted to open up, but held back, again.

Your face looked almost relieved when I said no, but there was something else that haunted you. You didn't say it.

I turned around, standing with my back to the door and leaning against it, feeling the tears running down my cheeks.

We stood in silence.

My breathing stopped when you said: "I love you".

The sobs I tried to hold back throughout the conversation finally escaped and I couldn't help it.

I told you I loved you too but I couldn't forgive you.

You didn't insist.

I don't know why.

Partly I'm grateful because if you had I probably would have given in, but partly I would have liked to run into your arms and have you tell me everything would be okay, even if it was a lie.

I never loved anyone before, I wish it didn't hurt but I don't want to love anyone but you.

Love, Ziggy.