All of Me (Sebastian Vettel)

11. Reconnecting (2)

Seb followed Alyssa as she headed down a slope towards the beach.  He'd driven them a couple of miles up the coast and parked up in a small carpark on the seafront.

Alyssa been very quiet on the drive, only speaking to tell him which way to go.  Seb had kept sneaking looks at her as he'd been following her directions. She looked tired despite claiming to have slept well.  He was tired himself, having managed a grand total of five hours sleep. He'd been plagued with dreams, dreams of Alyssa. They hadn't been sexual dreams but he'd still kept waking up wanting her and thinking about how he'd nearly kissed her.

He felt torn.  He really, really, wanted to kiss her, more than he'd ever wanted to kiss a woman in his entire life, but he also couldn't stop thinking of her as that young girl he'd known.  The fact that she was his ex wife's sister was a major issue too.   What would Sienna say if she knew he was fantasising over her little sister? He knew for a fact that she wouldn't be very happy. Of course he also knew she didn't get a say in who he did or not take to his bed, but for the girls' sake he didn't want to be at odds with her.

"I love it here.  I often come out here when I want some quiet time, some time to think.  It gets busy in the summer but this time of year it's peaceful," Alyssa said, slumping down onto the sand. 

Seb sat down besides her.  Now they were here he had no idea what to say to her.  Should he mention the nearly kiss?

Looking left and right he surmised that they were more or less alone. The only other people to be seen were a couple with their toddler a hundred metres to their left and a swimmer that had braved the chilly water. 

"How's Joel?" Alyssa asked, breaking the silence. 

"He's upset that you don't want to see him, but he does understand.  He just hopes that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive him," Seb told her.

Alyssa drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them and began to stare out at the sea.

"He loves you Alyssa.  He's really beating himself up over what he did."

"It wasn't all his fault.  I was stupid.  I should have listened to him.  I just... I was selfish.  I thought he'd be there when I went back.  He'd always said he'd look after me.  Then I needed him and he wasn't there.  I guess it's more my fault than his though.  I'm so confused right now.  I just know if I see him I will break and I'm fighting so hard to keep things together.  It's so hard to explain.  I don't know how much you know."

"I know about Dean, about what happened before you left Chesterfield.  All I know about what happened after is that he got five years for ABH and drug offences.   The ABH, it was against you, wasn't it?" he asked softly.

She nodded, her eyes filling up with tears.  "You don't have to talk about it  Alyssa, but I'm here if you do."

"I've never really spoken about what he did.  Obviously I did to the police, and in court.  I mean I've never confided in anyone else.  Cherry knows some of it but not all."  Seb placed his hand reassuringly on her back. 

"It's ok Alyssa.  You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"This is crazy.  I haven't seen you in nearly seventeen years.  So much has happened.  You and Sisi got married, had kids, got divorced.  You won four world titles, drove for Ferrari!  What have I achieved? All my dreams came to nothing."

Seb slipped his arm around her.  She rested her head on his shoulder. 

"You can still make your dreams come true.  You're a survivor Alyssa.  You can start again."