Broken

chapter 2

The anticipation is killing me as I wait for dad to speak up. It looks like something serious, which is unusual because my dad is a funny guy. "So Evie, do you remember that day I got sick and you had to take me to the hospital?" His voice is low and almost causious. "Yes I remember that, why though?" "So, when I got discharged the doctor had a talk with me about my health..." "What happened dad!" I demanded. I need to know what he's trying to say. " I have leukaemia Evie" oh alright,My face drops. WAIT WHAT?! Dad has leukaemia? My voice cracks "why d-didn't you t-tell me sooner?" " I tried, Evelyn but I couldn't bring myself to". He's no longer looking at me, his gaze is on his fingers which are fiddling with each other. "The doctor told me I had two years to live, and I'd be lucky if I had a few weeks more" oh God. "Dad when the doctor say this?". He looks at me, sadness in his eyes. " Two years ago" he looks at me as if he's searching for something." Oh my God" I whimper. " Dad you're going to die and you only tell me now? How is that fair to me?" I can feel warm tears streaming down my face. " You're going to leave me, with her?" " I'm sorry Evie I should have told you sooner but I was afraid of your reaction, but I then realised I had to tell you sooner or later" I don't know what to say to him. Dad is going to leave me with my mother. I won't have anyone who will love me like my dad does. "I'm just upset you didn't tell me sooner, I don't want you to spent your last few days with me being angry at you" I look at my dad again and start to cry more, dad just holds me in his arms as I sob into his chest.

This could be the last time I hold my dad, the last conversation we have, the last time I see him and I don't wanna waste it.
When I finally let go of him, I spend a moment just looking at him, I'm so thankful I look alot like him.
He's my hero and now he's going to leave me. "Alright Evie, I don't want you to think about this alot, I want you to go to bed now and wake up early, we're spending the entire day out." He smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Okay dad. Goodnight, I love you" I stand up and kiss the top of his head.
As I'm walking up the stairs I turn to dad, " dad?" "Hmm" he looks up at me. "Can you....can you tuck me in?" I ask him with hope in my voice. "Of course sweet pea, c'mon"

Dad tucks me in bed and leaves for his room. I'm left with my overthinking mind.

I go to my bathroom and take a warm soothing shower with the temperature as high as I could get it. I tried not to think about dads illness but my mind kept wandering to it. I slip into some pajamas and go to bed. I lay in bed but sleep does not come easily.

I think about how difficult it was for dad to tell me that he's going to die. I remember when he told me, his shoulders finally relaxed as if he was holding it and trying to tell me for a really long time. But now it's too late. He kept it from me for almost two entire years and now when he finally told me, it's too late. He's leaving me and there's nothing i can do to stop him.

There's nothing that's gonna stop him, nothing that's going to heal him. I can't imagine how he's been suffering in pain and trying to tell me at the same time. But I'm glad he told me.  Atleast now I will cherish the time I spend with him more because who knows when he's going to leave me. Just a few years ago he became a famous architect, he had his future set for him but it's all for nothing.

Even though I know deep down that it was difficult for him to tell me, I'm still kind of mad at him. Maybe if he told me sooner I would have understood much better. My pillow is soaked in my tears and I didn't even notice it. I try to cry softly so that dad doesn't her me, I don't want him to see me sad.

After hours and hours of thinking about my dad I somehow manage to drift off to sleep and everything is peaceful. Little did I know what was about to happen the next morning....