The Porn Identity

Chapter 12

       And I'm hungry as shit!

       "—If you hadn't cut him off, he'd still be alive."

       "Nancy, it's barely been three months. If he couldn't cut it by himself for three months—"

       Three months ago? That's about when he started blackmailing Kelli again. Did he start up again because he couldn't make the bills without his parents? Three months ago was about when he got fired too. Was the man living a completely fabricated life?

       To my amusement the preacher-man rolled his eyes at the Walker family's latest outburst. He was ready to go like the rest of us. "Sister Nancy," there was an edge to his voice, but he reeled it back in. "I understand your pain, but he's in God's kingdom now. Don't mourn his death, celebrate his homegoing."

       Very tactful, Mr. preacher-man.

       Nancy sniffed again, nodded her head, and walked back to her seat. Before her ass even connected with that fold out chair the preacher gave the signal and Noah's coffin began its descent into the earth.

       Thank you, God.

       Some of the mourners went up to speak with the family but David started easing back toward his car, so I followed. He moved quick. His pace was brisk and determined. He had a good two feet on me, so I had to power walk like an Olympian. For real, that's an Olympic sport—look it up.

      When I caught up, I slowed. "Sheesh," I said, only slightly out of breath. "Rough funeral, huh?"

       He cut his eyes at me quickly before looking back at the coffin. "Yeah."

      I leaned deeper into my southern accent. It made me sound friendly, folksy, and harmless. "Not too popular—not that I'm surprised, considering where I know him from."

       "Mmm hmm." He picked up his pace.

       "Not a bit surprised he got shot either." I was able to match his speed by powering myself with determination and residual annoyance. Irritation was an amazing motivator. "I might have taken the shot myself, but I'm too dogone responsible."

       He stopped, then turned on a dime to look me over. "You're a gun owner?"

       "Heck yeah! You got to be in this crazy world." I nodded. Common ground was the key to all human connection. A little of it was necessary here to open the lines of communication. "I'm just one woman, you know."

       "Ain't that the truth." He actually smiled a little. "What sort of firearm do you have?"

       Shit. Quick, what's a type of gun? "Oh, a Glock, nothing too fancy." Let's steer the conversation away from the technical and toward the philosophical. "It's only for protection, though I've always wanted to try hunting."

       His eyes lit up. I said the magic word. "I'm a hunter."

       I bat my eyes all innocent-like. "Really? What do you hunt?"

       "I'll hunt about anything. I've done wolves, deer, wild boar. I've even done some big five hunting."

       Barf. I saw his 'big five' pictures. There's one in particular of him smiling wide as he stood over the corpse of an African elephant that really irked me. Fuck him.

       "That is just the coolest." I grinned. "Well, anyway, how did you know Noah?"

       His shoulders stiffened. "Oh, uh, we were friends, I guess."