Lorcan's Fireside Story Time

The Patron's Crown

Author's note: Heshbon is Beso's clerk. He's a nerdy polyglot whose talent for languages and encyclopedic knowledge of history, myths, and legends proves to be useful for Lorcan and Cokelli during their travels. The sexism on display here is unfortunately common throughout the regions through which Lorcan travels.

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"That was excellent," said Lorcan, patting his belly with a sigh of satisfaction. "Thank you, Beso." He leaned back and took a sip of the wine from his leather cup, enjoying the sweet taste.

The caravan leader smiled and said, "Now that we have eaten our fill, who will tell a tale? Heshbon, tell us a story of the Ancients of Antica."

Heshbon grinned broadly. "'The Patron's Crown' is an old favorite in this part of the world. I was reminded of it by the Snersker story that Henorm told us the other day. You see, the Anticans also believe that the powers that be occasionally rearrange the land itself at times without considering the effects on those of us who live here.

"Ancient Anticans used to believe that their Patrons live in a palace on a cloud high above the earth called Domjorum, and that sometimes they would come down to visit us. Many are the tales of the mighty heroes born of liaisons between mortal women and the Patrons. One such hero, to win the love of a beautiful princess, dared to steal the crown of Prinka, Queen of the Patrons. His name was Maglaps and he lived in the city of Marluna. His mother was Pallida, a courtier's daughter, and when he was born she sent him away to be fostered by a kinswoman—but that is another story.

"The tale I tell now concerns the arrival of Princess Hebena of Lacer, who arrived at the palace when Maglaps had already won renown for the greatness of his deeds. He approached her while she was walking in the city gardens with her handmaids, and introduced himself as a mighty warrior whose storied deeds were known throughout the land.

"Princess Hebena was not impressed, however, for the Patrons had been most generous with their favours to mortal women, and heroes vied for fame and fortune from High Galap to the uttermost ends of the Broken Lands. Indeed, many of them had approached her, boasting of their exploits, expecting her to fall at their feet and declare eternal love, but she did not.

"Nonetheless, Maglaps persisted, visiting her every day as if he had a spy in the palace reporting her movements, which he did, for Pabilis the serving maid was in love with him and was willing to do whatever it took to win his affections. When Princess Hebena returned home, he traveled with her as an escort, hoping that fending off an attack by bandits or by the terrifying monsters that used to haunt the roads would impress her, but perhaps they had heard tell of his deeds since none dared to challenge him. After a year he was exasperated and said to her, 'Why do you not agree to marry me?'

"'You say you are a hero, Maglaps, but I only have your word for it. If you prove your love for me with a mighty deed that eclipses those of all the other heroes, I shall be your bride,' she replied.

"Maglaps did not need to be told twice, for his passion burned with unquenchable ferocity. 'What would you have me do?' he asked her.

"'Bring me the crown of the Patron Prinka, and I will be yours,' she replied.

"'How can any man do such a thing?' he demanded.

"'Kindly stop declaring your love for me if you do not mean it,' Princess Hebena snapped back. 'Do the legends not tell us that love will always find a way? Begone and cease your attempts to deceive me.'

"Stung by the challenge, Maglaps said, 'You would have me steal from a Patron?'

"'I asked you to bring me the crown,' Princess Hebena replied. 'How you obtain it is for you to decide.'

"Maglaps went away angry, but he was determined to leave her no excuse to deny him her hand, so he went to the temple of his father Praepol, Patron of Courage. 'I desire the hand of Princess Hebena, Father,' he prayed, 'but she refuses to marry me unless I bring her the crown of Prinka, Queen of the Patrons. Will you help me?'

"As the hero gazed upon the marble image of his father, it came to life and bent down to speak to him. 'One does not simply walk up to the Queen of the Patrons and ask for her crown, my son,' he said.

"'Are you not the Patron of Courage?' asked Maglaps. 'What, then, are you afraid of? Ask her, I pray. She will surely not refuse you.'

"'You know not what you ask for,' said Praepol, 'but I will make the request nonetheless.'

"Praepol's image returned to its position while Praepol himself approached the Queen as she sat by a pool in her private garden. 'My lady,' he said, 'my son Maglaps has requested the golden crown from your fair head so that he can present it to Hebena, Princess of Lacer, to win her hand in marriage.'

"'Has he?' asked Prinka, who was not impressed. 'How arrogant of him to press his suit when she has made it very clear that she is not in the least bit interested in him. And how presumptuous of her to make such a demand!' She placed her hands on each side of her head and declared, 'Very well, he shall have my crown. How he presents it to this Princess is for him to decide.' With that, she lifted up her crown, walked to the edge of the cloud on which the palace stood, and cast it down.

"Maglaps was still at the temple of his father Praepol when the crown came crashing down onto the earth, throwing up a great cloud of dust and debris as it landed. When the dust cleared, he saw that the temple was surrounded by a great circle of rocks of different sizes. He carefully poked and dug around the rocks until he had determined that there was no sign of gold beneath them—they themselves were the crown. There was nothing for it—he would have to go to Princess Hebena and tell her about this. Off he went and soon arrived at the palace in Lacer, where he sought out the Princess. 'Did you feel that powerful earthquake?' he asked her.

"'I did,' she replied. 'Everyone was terrified. Look at the damage to the palace!'

"'I am sorry,' said Maglaps. 'I asked my father to ask Prinka, Queen of the Patrons, for her crown, which she has provided. Come and see it.'

"Intrigued, the Princess called for her horse, then went with Maglaps to the temple of Praepol. As they approached, she noticed the great circle of rocks around it. 'Why are these here?' she asked.

"'This is the crown of Prinka, Queen of the Patrons,' he told her. 'How you will wear it is for you to decide.'"