This week has turned out to be amazing.Monday was my last trek into the big city. I was totally dreading it. All my test results were in and I didn't want to know. I was afraid hearing bad news would put me in a downward spiral again. One I might now recover from. All these tests, all this waiting did take an emotional tole on me. I thank God everyday for all the love and support I have had around me.
We got there early so we had a goodbye coffee in the cafeteria. No more waiting around between tests. Goodbye cafeteria we won't miss you! Goodbye hospital! When it was time we made our way up to the seventh floor to await my fate. We weren't even in the waiting room for five minutes. Uh oh not a good sign. My mom accompanied me into the exam room this time. This was the first time I let her but I needed an extra pair of ears. It is so hard to concentrate and absorb info all on your own. So we left my poor stepdad to fend for himself. He wasn't doing too good all on his own as we had to wait an hour to see the doctor. I might add through this journey him and I have become very close which I love. I can't even imagine what was going through his head.
The doctor visit was very short, only 5 minutes maximum. Yes I have cancer but what once was very invasive and aggressive cancer has turned into the best cancer you can have. It is not spreading and it is not growing. I even told her that it is shrinking! She was still upset with me that I wouldn't consent to surgery and even tried to scare me into it. She almost admitted my treatment is working but has a fear that a cell will be missed and that it will come back. So we explained to her true but i don't make decisions based on 'what if'' realities. I know in my being that I have made the right choice for me. And I also know it won't come back because I have cleared out of my system all the emotional garbage that caused it in the first place. When I am all clear I am going to write her a long letter explaining everything. When doctors start treating patients as a whole entity ( body, mind, spirit) instead of just a body then you will see a revolution in the health care system! Signing off with hope, love, laughter........
