guard dog | genshin impact

eight

Your head was a bit fuzzy when you finally came to.

Memories of you stumbling on the way back to the estate. Being supported by Thoma and Ayaka alike in each step. Swimming in the murky waters of your own self-loathing as the moon mocked your predicament in the night sky.

From what you recall, you'd only consumed one of Thoma's three promised drinks, yet the moment your eyes wrenched open the next morning, the worst hangover that ever existed came crashing over you like a tidal wave. But the exotic alcohol wasn't behind it. Not at all.

You looked around, immediately noting that you weren't in the attendants' quarters. The familiar interior of Ayaka's room was an undeserved comfort, and when you remembered how you fell apart back in Ritou, you suddenly felt nauseous.

She knew. You had no idea how; had no idea why, but she knew.

And yet...Ayaka didn't condemn you for it. Instead, she cradled you in her grasp—putting back together all the pieces that shattered with every tender caress, every soft hum of that old forgotten lullaby. Comfort has been a stranger to you ever since you'd left your old life in Yashiori, and even if it was hypocritical in every sense of the word, you grabbed onto her. Clung to her presence like a lifeline.

I know you deserve better.

White noise filled your ears like how water would clog the hollow cavities of your lungs. You weren't sure what to make of Thoma's little stunt last night. His interrogation had a cut-throat precision to every word. The man you shared drinks with wasn't the same person who knit silly patterns with the elderly retainers in his spare time, nor was he the chef whose miso soup was adored by everyone in the estate.

You hated it—how he forcibly brought all your failures, all your insecurities to light without breaking a single sweat. Being picked apart and broken down into nothing was easily your worst nightmare, and it no longer came as a surprise that after all these years, it's Thoma who managed to tear all your walls, all your defenses asunder. But even with the chief retainer's best efforts to dissect every skeleton in your closet...

You didn't loathe him for it.

He didn't stare at you like how the capital's policemen stared at wanted criminals. Though he was nowhere near as cheerful as he usually is, you knew Thoma didn't ask you all those questions to patronize you. You've felt the same way sometime before, too. When he'd secretly unveiled the curtain over the consequences of what you did to those men in Konda Village.

Thoma and Ayaka... If you hadn't known better, you would've thought they were trying to help you or something.

Because... Why would they help a notorious assassin like you? The lightest sentence they could give when all's said and done was a few years in the slammer. The worst being a public execution, maybe. But you'd already taken the risks into account the day you took up Doctor Naoko's sword and fled for the capital. One day, you were going to pay the blood price for your sins—that's the same old mantra you kept unconsciously repeating in your head. And you'd be a fool to think it wasn't any less true just because these idiots from the Yashiro Commission were too kind for their own good.

You got up shakily before slipping out of the room.

The sun was already up when you traversed the halls of the second floor. Out of habit, you cast a sidelong glance at the end of the corridor. It's a little unnerving how you've been here long enough to tell that the Commissioner wasn't in his study. But you chalked it up to the fact that Ayato was rarely in the mansion these days. You weren't getting used to life in this estate at all.

"You're awake!"

You startled at the sound of a gentle voice resounding from the stairwell. There, you spot Hina carrying a pile of what you recognized as Ayato's folded hakamas. You hadn't really forgotten yesterday's treatment, so you looked around for anyone else she could have been addressing.