infatuated.

Chapter Three

I'm in front of the school at the end of the day, and Tia has to tutor someone for some extra credit. I look at Brandon across from me, looking in the distance for his ride, waiting. His hair blows gently, the wind creating small wisps to float and fall. His strong hands are stuffed in his back pockets as he tilts on his heel back and forth.

Brandon looks around, and I duck so that he doesn't catch me staring. I see two clean, white sneakers step in front of me and find its owner, Brandon, looking down at me.

"Hey, Alyssa." He smiles softly, and I instantly relax. He puts his hand on the back of his neck, as if he's nervous. "Do you mind tutoring me? My last school ran at a slower pace, so I don't understand some of the material." He rushes to assure me, "You don't have to, of course! It might hinder your schedule or something—"

"Brandon—" Gosh, I loved his name, the way it felt on my tongue, as it left my lips. "I'll tutor you, it's fine." I give him a half smile, and he returns it with a wide one. My heart gets that familiar flutter, and he continues to talk.

"Hey, uh, do you like to read?" Brandon asks, resting his hands on the cobblestone border we sat on.

This is my chance. I can make conversation. "Me too! I like to read some classics, even though people say it's boring, but I like to think it's timeless and inspiring." Twitter post, three months ago.

He looks at me as if I understand, like I'm different than he thought I was. "Wow. I feel the same way. I mean, people look over the classics as if it's not interesting in its own way." He grins. "Maybe you would want to read some together sometime? After our tutor session of course."

I smiled as well, but my emotions were soaring. Is this what it feels like to truly be happy? I nodded and replied, "Of course. See you then!"

His car pulls up, and he waves at me before he leaves. I wave eagerly, then mentally curse. Don't overdo it, you idiot. But it doesn't derail my mood. I'm still smiling when ten minutes later Tia comes out the doors and drives me home.

I feel like I'm floating on clouds. I go straight upstairs and ignore my passed out mother, ignoring the way the house smells like gasoline and ash. I bounce onto my bed and ignore how it starts to bend the wrong way. I ignore anything and everything besides the fact that I got asked out by Brandon Roberts.

—————

It's fairly cold outside, fall approaching winter by now. I clutch my arms tightly, dressed in a blue sweater (Brandon's favorite color) and denim jeans. I look for Brandon's face in the line of soccer players, but he doesn't show. He'll show up in time.

But he doesn't. One by one, people start going, but he doesn't come. The hopeful feeling in my chest dims. Why hasn't Brandon showed up? My thoughts are filled with worry. Did something happen to him? Is he hurt? Surely he would've been here if nothing happened.

I check his social media, but nothing new is posted to alert to his disappearance. I press my lips together tightly and go look for his address through a website, where I quickly pay for a free trial and write his address down in my notes. Okay, I need to make sure he's okay, it's what any loyal girlfriend would do--

And then as if he was summoned to quell my fear, to speak to my soul "I'm here," he rushes in, right as the second-to-last person is going up. The coach frowns and walks up to him, starting to lecture him.

I grit my teeth and force myself to stay in my seat. Brandon's smile slowly falls, and I feel my fist tighten. I feel anger well up inside me, spontaneous and powerful. I can't stand it, I have to go down there. But as I get up from the bleacher, Brandon sits with the others. I settle with sitting down as I Imagine slitting the coach's throat, a pocket knife enough to slice through their skin.

My hand loosens and I gasp out loud. Where did that even come from? I barely have time to think about it as Brandon faces the obstacle course. I cheer for him, and our eyes make contact, his smile greeting me. It's as if it belongs to me. I think to myself.

Brandon completes the obstacle course, and soon the names are being called. He gets on the team as well as two other guys. I grin, a full-on wide grin, as bright as the feeling in my heart. I feel happy. I feel free.

I feel alive.