Sacrifices

Doing this together

                      As I hid from who was talking I knew Carla would not condone this but, I couldn't help it I became curious over the smallest things and I can't help but want to see what I'm missing out on. So I lightly made my way to the edge that was blocked by the staircase 

I could lightly see two shadows I got used to spying on Carla when I was younger living with my new sisters who seemed to be no more than unidentified newfound friends that were now a part of my family tree. She was so much like me but so different from her eye color to how she kept her composer she was always so calm.'You should be just like her. You just like her. You sure your not Carla's daughter, not even just a mini-double.'I heard it all and from the way dad talks so highly of her I guess all of those things all the people who told me I'm like her made me want to be her. I love her so much, she respects me, treats me like I'm her own every family-related thing I have one of the biggest says in and. I can't help but feel almost spoiled by her love and her natural instinct to be there for me. When dad didn't show up for my birthday for 2 years in a row she was there to tell me he'll be here next year, don't worry I'll have everyone come over and you can open some of your gifts early I'll make sure he comes in next year. I'd never heard Carla raise her voice or even get genuinely upset yes she has yelled at me before but almost in a soft your, not in trouble tone to make me understand what I did but this was different by a mile her voice was so distraught and empty,  I just can't handle what I was hearing wanting to tune out the conversation I but still sitting still and listening against my better judgment.                                                                                                                                                                       

                                    She yelled at him that she is giving him a chance and he is pushing his luck and that if he won't step up and try harder for me then he doesn't deserve to be given any more chances and she'll just give up on him as she should've. And I guess after that I just became more interested in her and dad's relationship how they could really be if they were left to talk alone, just then, and their feelings for them to be upfront with each other. I could tell something about dad always bugged her was it his accent, his hair, eyes, faded freckles that made her hate him.No she doesn't hate him just avoids him, but you really only do that to someone you can't stand or someone your scared of but she wasn't scared more or less angry.

                    (Carla POV) 

                                           I sat there with Clotilda as she stared into space and for once my curiosity got the better of me, I grabbed her hand into a light hold and looked her in the eyes."Is something wrong, if you aren't ready we don't have to do this?" She looked surprised at first then just smiled, I could tell something wasn't right when she wanted to be secretive she could and I could tell it was at its peak at this moment. "I'm fine don't worry, even if I wasn't I can't let this go without being noticed. It's not right to you, you deserve clarity (As in her and their dad's past coming to the light, to help her) for this, for everything that happened to you. You probably already know this but you are like a mom to me, losing my connection with dad will suck but your feeling and respect for yourself are more important than anyone okay you come first. I love dad, Maud, and all the others but you two come first you and Maud have always been there I can't overlook this and even more, if it affects Maud as well. You've always done what you thought was best for me even hiding your pain so let me help you, find the peace you've been needing."

                             I could almost feel tears coming to my eyes as she spoke, there was only one person that had spoken to me in such a soft forgotten tone. A voice I wanted to hear again for years I can't handle these feelings of closure the dead should not have such an effect on the world but we see it in history over and over, even though I beg for the world to stop being so cruel by showing me something I can never active that true happiness is far behind me now so why now. As Clotilda and I waited for the others to talk we started dinner her cutting the vegetables, me preparing the meat cutting fat seasoning it doing the usual stuff we would do any other day. But this is different I know it is and that's why doing this feels so alienating to be doing the simplest task like we do every week but no talking, laughing, just silence and that unavoidable saddens would soon fill the house came. As we finished cooking cleaning the others walked in through the front door, coming around the corner door that lead to the living room Scarlett came through seeing us finishing up, and went in for a hug but could see a strange tension and knowing the reason they left that mourning she pulled back turning to Clotilda seeing she looked in a similar way she tried to avoid it."So what did you make." I gave her a smile and said." We made chicken, with sliced potatoes, green onion, bell pepper, and gravy on top. I was thinking that if Sebastian doesn't want this he can starve but I made sauerbraten for him as a backup. And I wanted some too. "After dinner, things might get messy will be having the talk after, I don't want you to feel like you guys have to join but if you do hear a warning could you also tell Alex it's best to not leave him of all people in the dark." She gave a look of surprise, then realization, and sympathy, as she thought about all the things that seemed off today all at once."We'll be there and if you need drinks I can get some from the basement, I know you hate it down there so just a thought I know you don't drink in front of the others. You even hide the liquor from both of them and Mauds is already 18 no point hiding it."

                    I softly looked at her not knowing how I could ever find people like them, I really didn't deserve them. I don't believe in any god or whatever but they really are a blessing.

                                          (Surprise two updates at once enjoy the dramas coming for the Larson family, yes this is their last name.)