Ocean Waves | Loubbie Short Stories

35 | A Little More of You (End)

"You sobbed, asshole." Debbie cheekily implied as she chugged her bottle of vodka, subtly bumping Lou's shoulder with hers.

She wanted to be as indiscernible as the aches hiding beneath the layers of her heart; be invisible like a ghost roaming around the home it once lived. She wanted to skin her body - rip all the pretense until she would stand in just her brittling bones. The pain of not having their almost lovestory was indeed shattering, but having to know that her almost lover was locked behind steel bars was far more maddening, in a literal sense. Lou tried her best to not cry, but the tension lying inside her throat was such a strong force. And so in her most desperate attempt, she bit her lip. The tears dwelling in her orbs were already haunting to fall, but no, she wouldn't cry. The hoarded sorrows she hid deep in her flesh were forming a wrecking ball, and every single time Debbie would flash her a look, it would struck her down, deep and fast.

"How are you?" Debbie asked.

Lou should be the one uttering that question. She felt the gradual decay of her soul surrending to its deepest chasm when Debbie looked at her. The thick glass separating them both was like a giant gate. Debbie held her breath, the way she held the telephone tightly against her ear as she patiently waited for the blonde to speak. But Lou on the other side never wanted to utter a single word because she was afraid that if she would speak, the lumps inside her throat would go out and she would end up crying.

"Talk to me, please?" Debbie whispered through the phone as she watched the blonde bent her head, trying to sneak away from her gaze.

Still, Lou remained quite. And Debbie clenched her orange-clothed body because how could some things, seemed so small, carry so much gravity? How could some things, so unremarkably quite and still, carry so much weight? Lou's silence carried so much, and it was as heavy as Debbie's burn-out skin; it was a burden, it felt so taxing like how Debbie's resigning bones felt.

"Where did it go wrong?" Finally, Lou managed to speak and when she did, Debbie caught her teardrops running down her cheeks.

The brunette felt like the world was nearing its death when Lou cried. In that moment, she wanted to smash the thick glass bordering them both, but how could she, when she too, was stuck on her seat? She watched as Lou tried to stop crying, but she failed. The blonde sobbed and it was when Debbie realized how much she fucked up.

Where did it go wrong? To some, it was an easy question, but it stabbed Debbie down to her deepest core. Where did it really go wrong? Was it because they held their love in secrecy? Was it because they weren't brave enough to step into the fragile ground of love? Was it because Lou pretended like she had no care, and just fucked whoever she liked? Was it because Debbie got tired holding on to something that was yet undiscovered?

"Don't cry..." Debbie spoke through the phone, "Lou, stop crying." She added softly as she laid her hand flat against the glass, hoping for the blonde to do the same.

Lou was half a sigh away from breaking, "Where did it go ---" She shook her head, "What did that fucker do to you?" The expression on her face changed, "Swear Debs, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to cut his penis off and chop it in front of that fucker. I swear Debs, I'll --"

"I love you."

The blonde's ear rang. Did she hear it right? She froze as she stared at Debbie with her eyes widened in shock. Slowly, Lou's heart rang louder than the static noise of the air waves coming in and out of the telephone and expectedly, the scent of the hand-me-down memories and seasoned nights of promises came crashing through her like feral ocean waves.