Y/n:(already aiming for Tuckers' knee) I'm already on it.
--Meanwhile with the rest of Red team--
Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnassance vehicle.
The camera begins to circle the jeep with dramatic music playing.
Sarge: It has four-inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! But, I like to call it the Warthog!
Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?
Sarge: Because M12 LRV is to hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.
Sarge:(after a brief pause) Say that again.
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in the Sam Hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh, you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a... big cat, like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you it's a real animal! For real!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal with rat poison.
Y/n:(over comms) To make sure you didn't try to make more fuel with it for one, and two it wasn't that long ago, about a week ago.
Simmons: That makes sense, anyway thanks Y/n and I'll get right on it sir.
Sarge: Good, anyways! (points to the front of the Warthog) Look, see those two hooks? They represent tusks, and what animal has tusks?
Grif: A walrus, an elephant.
Sarge: It's not big enough to be an elephant, and didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!
--Cut to Y/n and the Blues--
Church: Hey, what's going on over at your base?
Y/n: Oh, we're getting an armored vehicle or armored car if you prefer, but in the ODST, we call it a Warthog.
Tucker: Why, Warthog?
Church: Because it looks like one idiot.
Y/n: No, we call it that because its full name is too long and too hard to say, it looks more like a puma anyway.
Tucker: What's its name?
Y/n: M12 Force Application Vehicle, or M12 LRV.
Tucker: Damn, no wonder you just say Warthog.
Y/n: We also call it "The Hog"
Tucker: Really? Damn, that name makes it sound intimidating. Wait... YOU GET A CAR!
Y/n: What are you complaining about, you guys are getting a tank in your next shipment.
Church: Yeah... wait, how do you know that?
Y/n: Last week I went to Command to pick up some supplies for the Red team, and the person who was tasked to catalog shipments never showed up, Command asked if I could do it and I noticed that you're getting a tank in your next shipment or this case This shipment.
Church: Well, anyway... you said you were an ODST, right?
Y/n: Yep, one of the best they've ever had, so I've been told. In fact I was one of the only ODSTs to ever finish General Dagger's training program, he adapted from the Spartan program's Spartan-II's training, on the hardest difficulty, I even beat the legendary Master Chiefs' time.
Church: Really?
Y/n: Yep, but anyway I should probably head on back to Red Base to see how those idiots are doing, see ya.
Church: See ya later, Y/n.
--Cut to the Red's Base--
Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard? The one that eats all the goats.
Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir.
Sarge: Hey Grif, Chupathingy! How about that? I like it, gotta ring to it.
Y/n: First, it's pronounced Chupacabra Sarge, second did you know that Chupacabras suck the blood and or organs out of their prey?
Grif: Too much information Y/n! Too much!
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Word count: 1,762
Hope you enjoyed your stay!
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Project Unity (Red vs Blue reader insert)
ActionEver since the Director of Project Freelancer split up the Alpha, the Chairman of the UNSC decided that someone should keep an eye on him and sent Y/n L/n into his program to do it, but things didn't go as planned and he went MIA shortly after, atle...
S1: Why are we here?
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