Sarge: Stop the pillow talk you two, anyone wants to guess why I gathered you here today?
Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge:(Sarcastically) That's exactly it Private, War's over, we won, turns out your the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, Y/n's your security guard, and Simmons here is CHARGE OF CONFETTI!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir!
Sarge: Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth oor else I'll have Y/n slit your throat and your limbs while your asleep! Speaking of which, where is Specialist L/n?
Simmons: Don't you mean Corporal L/n, sir?
Sarge: No, I mean Specialist L/n. He's from the normal army section of the UNSC.
Grif: Then, why's he here?
Sarge: I asked Command to send me a capable soldier... and they sent us him. Now, where is he?
Suddenly the trio could hear screaming in the distance.
Simmons: Um... I think he's busy attacking the Blues, sir.
Sarge: Oh yeah, that's right I told him to do some surveillance.
Grif: I don't think attacking the Blues counts as surveillance, sir.
Sarge: Not with that attitude Private, wait... DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Simmons: Yes you did sir, he just doesn't listen... to anything, at all.
Grif: Huh, what did you say Simmons?
Sarge: Moving on. (Brief pause) Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gultch Outpost Number One.
Grif: Crap, we're getting a rookie.
Y/n:(Over radio) As long as the rookie ain't any stupider or lazier than Grif, I got no problems.
Simmons: What the- How do you know what's going on?
Y/n:(Over radio) ...You realize you all left your comms on, right?
Red Team(minus -Y/n): No...
Y/n:(Over radio) God damn it...
Sarge:(coughs) Anyway how's the "surveillance" going L/n?
--Cut to Y/n--
Y/n holding Tucker by the thorat while Church handing Y/n $50.
Tucker:(Choking)
Y/n: Just fine sir, I should be back shortly, Y/n over and out. (turns off comms) (To Church) So same time next week?
Church: As long as you ain't coming to beat my ass, I got no complaints.
Y/n: As long as you're paying me to kick his ass instead of yours, neither do I.
Tucker:(Struggling to breathe) Fuck... You... Guys...
Y/n:(releases Tucker) Talk like that again and your losing your dick.
Tucker:(catching his breath) Oh Hell No!
Tucker runs towards Blue base like the devil is on his heels, which he's not...yet.
Church: ...5 bucks says you can't take out his right knee.
Y/n: Make it 15 and we've got a deal.
Church: Deal.
YOU ARE READING
Project Unity (Red vs Blue reader insert)
ActionEver since the Director of Project Freelancer split up the Alpha, the Chairman of the UNSC decided that someone should keep an eye on him and sent Y/n L/n into his program to do it, but things didn't go as planned and he went MIA shortly after, atle...
S1: Why are we here?
Start from the beginning
