I.M.A.G.E

Hurts so good

I opened my eyes to wake up in the same room. I soon recalled everything and tears filled my eyes again. I got up. Settled my room which was a mess after my behavior last night. I sat back on my bed and looked at the time . It was the next day. I was unconscious all night and my uncle aunt didn't give a shit. Just as expected.

I felt extremely low today not at all in mood to go to school. I touched my head and it was burning hot. Soon I realized I am all burning in temperature. It was when I drank a bit of water and I threw up. Fucking hell. I went down stairs and saw no one. I guess no one was home. I made a toast and had some green tea and I threw up once again. I just couldn't intake anything.

I took out the medicine box took a few antibiotics and painkillers for my headache. I soon fell asleep with the medicine reaction. Waking up , I felt even miserable. I was not hungry but I needed energy. I couldn't even get up and grab my phone. After a little effort I grabbed it texted Nichole to come and help me. I was regretting the decision soon after realizing it's her because of whom I lost someone special but no matter what I can't hate on her . She's such a soft heart. Just in a while I heard footsteps and Nichole entered the room.

Maybe it's me but as soon as I felt attention I deprived more. My lips quivered and I cried silently in her embrace. She consoled me. Tried to finish my temperature with a wet cloth and now she's gone to make me some soup.

"you have to take medicine laurie.. And it's important to first eat something.. I'll be back okay "

She said and I nodded.

I planned on to skip school for a few days. Something in me can just not face Johnsen. He doesn't know anything about my feelings but I don't even want to show him the sad expressions that will happen to form whenever I'll see both him and Nichole together.

Sixteen years of love and today I feel as if it was a mistake. One sided hurts as fuck.

I was being fed by Nichole right now. She was talking to me. Making me laugh and telling me what happened in school today.
Just then she said something that didn't seem soo nice all of a sudden.

"I don't know laurie but this idiot Johnsen is just acting so weird all of a sudden"

"how " I asked softly.

"I don't know.. He kept staring at me in class and when I starred back he looked somewhere else and started acting cool. Like flippin his hair, coughing, settling collars i don't know just too weird"

I smiled and said something I really never wanted to say

"maybe Nic he likes you? "

"oh shut up.. I am already over these relationships and anyways I ship YOU both so nope. "

I wish. I just wish that was ossible. Life really did play with me. It turned the whole game. I never in my life thought I'd have to share something this special to me. Technically not even share.. Just give it away.

"helloo.. Laurie?? "

I snapped out when Nichole called.

"oh yeah bullshit we are not meant to be together. It's destined my friend he's for you"

I just felt her cheeks flush into a peach red. Why me Lord. It was late and she was still insisting to stay by my side. I told her to go but she said she'll take me with her. No doubt, I am actually sick and have no energy so unwillingly I said

"ok help me up. "

So she did. She packed some of my belongings. Helped me walk to her car and we drove off to her house. Our ride was slow we kept silent until she broke it asking me something I was afraid to answer

"that day at dinner, I saw Johnsen pulling you somewhere. Did something happen? "

I stayed shut. I didn't know what to say. His words rang in my ears as a flashback . I felt like bursting out any second.

"Laurie? You okay "

I nodded. She held my hand and said something I really didn't want her to say at least when she's misunderstanding it. Nothing happened. That's what I want to say but the words won't just come out. Maybe because I know that's not the truth. The truth is he likes you Nichole.

"it's okay Laurie, if it's something you don't wanna talk about don't. I am not forcing you at all" she said. I smiled a little assuring her a thanks for understanding look. She continued driving and I was once again lost in my thoughts thinking it's all going wrong. This wasn't suppose to happen. It shouldn't have. She parked the car and we got out. She showed me to the room and left after telling me to call her if I need anything. I sat down on the bed. Opened my phone texted my aunt that I am at Nichole's place.

I looked around the room. I never saw this room before. I've had many sleepovers at Nichole's apartment but this room never caught my attention. This room was at the first floor and I could see a lot from the windows. I was about to lay back down when something caught my attention. A familiar car was parked outside the house. That car. I knew it very well. It was the car which once offered me a ride back home when it was raining. I smiled at the memory and it soon disappeared when I saw Johnsen at the gate. Then another figure popped up. Nichole. They were talking. Practically laughing.

I closed the curtains and sat back at the bed. I didn't want to get jealous. I was never the jealous type. I was never capable of even trying to compete. Nothing from the very start. Sometimes I think over what Rebecca says to me and it sounds so beautiful . Each word she says to me is a solid truth of my life. I am and was a reckless orphan begging for sympathy from this world.

It sucks to love. Love sucks. One-sided sucks. When you know it can't happen. You should never love. Why did I even expect. When I knew I don't deserve him. Now here I am at my best friend's place who is hanging out there with my long lost crush.People say everyone lives for a reason. I bet my reason to live is to never die. I can't die because I am living and I'll never die because it'll somehow be very peaceful and why would life want a freak like me to live in peace.
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It will continue 🤍