Break

Chapter 10

They sit curled together in silence for a long time after Kenn leaves. It's the growing pain in Courtney's shoulder that ends up being the trigger for her to slowly prompt Shayne away from her, only to direct him to lie down beside her and get as cuddly as he wants in a slightly more comfortable way. Shayne still doesn't say anything, but as he lays down beside and half on top of her he nuzzles close and wraps one arm protectively over her. Their hell of a meeting with the ward staff and doctor still hangs heavily in her mind, but Shayne's careful protectiveness and the weight of his body half over hers nudges itself comfortably into the corner of her mind, forever trying to give itself more space as it pushes other things out of the way.

"I love you," Shayne mumbles, some time later, a gentle breaking of the silence they'd settled back into before he continues, "I hope you know I mean it when I say looking after you is my most important thing. You mean more to me than anything or anyone else."

"I love you too. And I know," she replies, softly, reaching up to tangle one of her hands in his over her abdomen, "You've helped me more than the medical stuff has in the last couple weeks. Like obviously it's done something, but... my heart and my mind are okay because of you."

"That's what I'm here for," he reminds her, before his tone turns darker, "and I guess I gotta talk to Ian. I mean it about quitting."

"I think we do gotta talk to Ian, but..." Courtney trails off, hesitant when she continues, "I don't want you to quit. It's- I hate it so much too. I feel betrayed and violated and unsafe and angry and I want to rant at everyone that this is what happens when they don't respect that we're real people but I don't know."

"Then let's rant at them. I know it's dumb and petty but this has wrecked me and I want them to know and realise what they've done," Shayne agrees, voice wavering and grumbling as he roughly wipes at the tears still leaking down his cheeks.

It takes another minute of discussion, but the anger and disappointment run strong through both of them and they soon find themselves moving the table up over the bed, Courtney's phone propped up on it to face them. They look at themselves in the camera for a moment, faces red and tear-stained.

Whatever.

Courtney hits record, letting silence hang for a few seconds after she does as she works out what to say.

"So... I've been having a pretty shit time in hospital because the doctor wasn't listening to me and kept making things up and not telling me what was going on. We complained once, but nothing really happened, and then yesterday he faked a reason to not let anyone visit me. So we had a meeting with a bunch of hospital staff this morning and we found out exactly why he was doing that," she starts, her voice terse, becoming even angrier and sharply paced as he continues, "he was doing it because he has a kid that told him we aren't actually together because I guess the kid ships some other couple or whatever and Shayne doesn't care about me and we're just making everything up. I found out he reduced my fucking painkillers because he thought I was making up how much pain I was in- I haven't got the treatment I need here because someone doesn't get that we're real people and the internet doesn't know everything."

"This is why we keep shit private. I wish we'd never said anything about what happened and I wish I hadn't said anything and now I'm thinking I need to fucking quit Smosh and get the hell out of anything public because I'm doing everything I fucking can to look after the most important person in my life but because the internet knows us the doctor isn't treating properly and he accused me of trying to hurt Court and- and-" Shayne's near-hysterical ranting cuts off in a sob, and Courtney lets herself visibly hold him closer.

"I guess this whole thing is stupid because we're saying we want privacy and then telling the internet everything but- we're angry and upset and this is what happens when you don't let us exist as real people outside our jobs. You don't know everything and you never will because you don't actually know us. You know what we choose to share and that's all," she continues, firm, before her eyes drift, concerned, to Shayne pressed up against her side. "But you do know Shayne and I are... very much together. The whole fucking reason I woke up was because I wanted to talk to Shayne. And he's barely left my side since. Don't fucking say my boy doesn't care about me. He's put his damn life on hold to look after me-"