Starting Over 💙

Chapter 30

After Ellie meets with her clients in New York the next week she goes back to her hotel to call Lisa and check on the kids. When she finished she paced in her room, trying to decide if she should check on Sebastian or not. She called Chris, but he didn't answer. She groaned as she plopped on her bed. She stared at the ceiling knowing that she should just sleep and leave in the morning like she was supposed to.

She walked the few blocks to his apartment, her heart racing as she knocked on his door, waiting for him to answer. "Ellie. What are you doing here? Where are the kids?"

"They're in Boston with Lisa for the night. I was here for work just for the day. Where's Ale?"

"She's in Spain, working. Why?"

Ellie sighed, "can I come in?"

"Sorry! Of course." Sebastian moved out of the way for her to enter his apartment, never taking his eyes off her, "what are you doing here Ellie?"

She leaned her back against the wall next to his door, "I don't really know. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't."

Sebastian leaned his hands on the wall, on either side of her, "you do know why you're here." He groaned, resting his forehead on hers. He wanted so much to kiss her. Surely that was why she was there, she wanted the same. "You can't be here. Please, you have to go Ellie. I can't. We can't." He opened his door watching her as she left. He shut the door, resting his head on the door.

Ellie leaned against his door, not wanting to leave. She faced the door, resting her head on the door, trying to get her feet to move from her spot. She sighed, knocking softly on his door. Sebastian opened the door, pulling her back inside, slamming the door behind her. He wrapped his arms around her as his lips urgently found hers, making her moan. He lifted her up, placing her under him on the couch as he trailed kisses down her neck and shoulders as she pulled his shirt off before removing hers. He moved his lips down her chest and stomach. He groaned, standing up from the couch, "what are we doing? What are you doing here? You're killing me Ellie. Fuck!"

She sat up as she watched him put his shirt back on as she stood up, putting on her own, "I don't know Sebastian! I was fine! Perfectly happy! And then you had to go and kiss me. And now I don't know what to do, or what I want!" She planted herself in front of him, "why did you have to go and kiss me?"

"Because!" He lowered his voice as he ran his fingers through her hair, "I'm in love with you. I'm sorry Ellie. I didn't ask for this to happen either."

"Ugh!" Ellie moved away from him, "why would you do this? Why did you have to tell me? Kiss me? I'm married! Happily! To your friend! You're our daughter's godfather. Fuck Sebastian. Why couldn't you keep it to yourself?" She shook her head, "Chris asked me why you were acting weird, and I had to lie to him. I've never lied to him! He even suggested I visit you while I'm here to see if you're okay. I'm a terrible wife and it's all your fault! And you're a shitty friend Sebastian! To him and to me!"

"I know Ellie. I'm sorry. I realize I'm being selfish. I also know that nothing could ever happen here."

"Then why tell me? I have to live with this now. I have to tell Chris." She tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop falling as she lowered her voice, "I don't know what to say to him Seb."

"I was drunk. I'm sorry. I was never going to say anything." He tried to step towards her but she backed away.

"I'd never keep you from Maddy. But you can't visit unless Chris is home. I'm sorry Sebastian. And it's best you don't for a while at all. And please, don't message me."

Sebastian looked down, tears streaking his cheeks, "okay. I'm sorry Ellie. What are you going to tell Chris?"

"I don't know. He's noticed there has been something wrong with me too. I don't know what to tell him. I don't know if it would do any good. I don't want to ruin what I have with him and I don't want to ruin your friendship with him either. So, I just don't know." She grabbed his hand before he wrapped his arms around her, "what do I tell him Seb?"

"I don't know doll. But you really have to go. Please."

"I know." She pulled back to look at him. She wrapped her hands around his neck, kissing him softly, "goodbye Sebastian." She left before letting him respond. Sebastian sat on his couch, his head in his hands reprimanding himself for kissing her to begin with.

~~~

Ellie returned home to find Chris home in the bedroom, "hey. What are you doing here? And what is on your face?"

Chris laughed as he turned around, running his hand along the mustache, "I'm sorry. It was needed for the character and I had two days, I wanted to come home and see you and the kids before returning to work. Where are the kids?"

"Oh. I haven't picked them back up from your mom's yet." She watched as his eyes lit up at the prospect of them being alone. Chris wrapped his arms around her, leaning down to kiss her, "wait Chris. I need to tell you something."

Chris pulled away, watching her face, suddenly worried as a sinking feeling filled his stomach, "what is it? What's the matter?"

Ellie closed her eyes, turning away from him, "I know why Sebastian was acting weird at Robbie's party."

Chris took a step towards her, grabbing her hand to make him face her to see tears streaking her cheeks. He pulled his hand away, "what Ellie. Say it."

She watched him place his hands at his hips, hanging his head down, "he kissed me Chris. And I let him."

"Did you sleep with him?"

She went to grab his hand but he pulled it away, still not looking at her, "no! Of course I didn't. I just came from New York." She heard him groan as she continued, "we kissed again. I told him he can't come around anymore. I'm sorry Chris."

He sighed, "why would he think it was okay to kiss you?"

"You mean did I come on to him? How could you ask me that Chris?"

Chris looked up at her for the first time, eyes red, "I don't know! How could you kiss someone else?!" He went to grab her hand but she flinched, pulling away from his anger, "fuck Ellie! After how far we've come! How could you?!"

"He was drunk. I had no idea he had feelings for me Chris. I shouldn't have let him kiss me, I'm so sorry."

Ellie watched him put his shoes back on, not looking at her again, "are you in love with him?"

She took a step towards him, "no. Of course not. You're the only man I've ever been in love with Chris."

"I have to go."

Ellie grabbed his hand as he started to leave the bedroom, "where are you going?"

Chris held onto her hand, still not looking at her, "back to work. I love you, but I have to go."

"I love you. I'm so sorry Chris." She watched him just nod as he left the house and she threw herself onto the bed, burying her face in his pillow, crying.