He is my husband
but never treats me like one.
I love him, respect him
but he considers me the dirt of his shoes
for him I am just the daughter of his enemy.
but for me he is my life, my love.
he is the owner of my heart
but I am nothing more than...
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"I...I don't think you should do this" I said trying to swallow the knot in my throat
"And why is that ?" He asked in a low voice and raised my chin a little with his finger so that I look into his eyes
I blinked my eyes and looked everywhere except his face.
"Shikha.." I started but he kept his finger on my lips shushing me
"Shh eat something then we will talk "
I blinked my tears trying to keep my tears at bay.
I looked down and picked a strawberry and ate it . Again I picked yo a toast and munched on it While shushant started making coffee.
"You know...when you were talking to yourself inside the bathroom ....you said it right." He said still stirring the milk in the coffee.
And I looked up at him with my red eyes.
"What?" I asked in a mere whisper.
"Yes .....there is no reason for you to cry. You shouldn't be ashamed be of yourself because you did nothing wrong except trusting the wrong people... except not to tell me that you are going out. ....this world is full of vultures shradha and innocent ones always suffers because of them.....you obviously can't see through everyone but ...trust yourself...love yourself and protect yourself. You let go of your safety...I'm not telling you should always carry a bodyguard with you...but be smart. And learn to fight these demons...be your own bodyguard. And whoever does wrong to you ......make them suffer. It's in your hand that you wnat to cry on your fate or fight for yourself .....and I'm proud of you that you don't blame yourself for all these and you fought them because if you haven't fought them I wouldn't have found you. ...if you felt that something isn't good for you then trust your senses and avoid such people.....help yourself and god and world will help you....love yourself and world will love you."
I choked on a sob....
"trust?! now I know I can't trust anyone but me ...no one loves me, cares for me!....and please I don't want any lecture from you...I hate you "
I said in frustration.
"I care for you shradha"
And with that sentence I laughed.
"Really? You? You out of all people. You never accepted me....never cared for me....you love Shikha....you always doubted me, questioned me..insulted me....made me a PEON in your own office...was this your care?! "
I said and stood up from the bed glaring at him.
"Peon is no disgusting job shradha"
"Yes it isn't! But you clearly did this to insult me... To attack my self respect...to show me, my place in your life...to obviously compare me with shikha! The job wasn't bad shushant but your intentions definitely were!" I shouted my frustrations out at him
He came close to me and I immediately stepped back, away from him
He still didn't stop and held my shoulder and shook me lightly.
"I'm sorry , I'm sorry that I didn't give you love, I never trusted you, I agree but that was before....I never appointed you as a peon sharadha....shikha did but I had no idea about that but when one I saw you working you as a peon ...I was enraged....I was angry that you were doing all these...but apart fro that I was sad....sad that you didn't come to me ....you didn't complaint to me .. never asked me 'why are you doing this shushant' .... communication is very important in a relationship shradha and I wanted you to initiate it ... being a peon clearly harmed your self-respect but you never opposed it ..I wanted you to raise your voice against anything you felt is harming you..... raise your voice against shradha.... respect yourself or else no one will"
Shushant said softly and this created a feeling inside me. Whatever he said was correct...he did wrong with me. ....but atleast this all things tought me to love nad respect myself... whatever he said made sense.
I said nothing and sat down again infront of the breakfast. And picked another strawberry and took a sip from the coffee made by shushant.
"When can I start working again?" I asked with straight face.
Shushant sat infront of me and smiled.
"Take rest for two days then you are always welcome ....and this time not as a peon but as my personal secretary"
He smiled
But I frowned. "But shikha...? I asked
"She is gone ....from our lives for good" he said with a smile and looked at me
🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺 ___________________
So so so so sorry for desappearring from Wattpad for so long..... actually after my exams we were asked to do practical training and I was busy with that....and then again our college batch was asked to host an exhibition of our assignments done by best students.....and me being me ...participated in this event ....and finally today the exhibition was fine in the morning and iwas able to write this chapter.... ...
Any ways love love
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And yes HAPPY NAVRATRI.... Am late to wish you all but accept my vest wishes to you and your dear ones.
