Suicidal Reader x Your Boyfriend

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( Warning : Contains Self Harm / Suicidal Thoughts And Ideas )

Your hair flew past you from the cold breeze of the night, tears down your cheeks making your face feel as cold as ice. Looking down at your arm blood drips down from the cuts that you carved into your skin. Slowly you look up taking in the night sky one last time and then looking down to the traffic of the night lit town. You were on the roof of the apartment complex. It was taller than what you were hoping for but you had finally received the courage to go ahead and do this. You just were thinking and trying to be at peace before doing this. . . You didn't have to do it right away. . . Just taking time to rethink your life and the things you had been through. Staring again, you sit near the edge and let your feet dangle. . . You wonder if you would've done this sooner if it weren't for Peter. . . He helped you as much as he could but really when your lows came around you felt like a burden to him. He always taking care of you and having to carry a positive attitude no matter what. Your phone loudly rings and vibrates; its Peter. Your tears grow in your eyes, you ignore the call only to immediately have him call again. You just let it ring, but every time it stops it continues again. . . You had sent him messages about how much he meant to you and thanked him for his help and how much you loved him. . Guess he read through the lines and understood what it was about. You sigh, tears falling into your lap as you begin to second guess yourself. Looking down to the far away ground you bite your tongue frustrated with yourself for being a ' coward ' 

" (Y/N) !!! "

You look behind you as fast as ever, it was Peter and you stand up quickly. Peter looks like he's been crying and running for hours. He looks at your face and then your arm.

" Come here , this isn't worth it . Come with me , stay with me . . . Please . (Y/N) , I'm begging . . . "

You look at him, your thoughts so disorientated you can barely come up with a sentence. Turning your head and looking at the edge, you hear Peter step towards you his hand out.

" (Y/N) ! I love you so much , I'm sorry for what you're going through but it'll get better . You and I can live together where no one will bother us and I'll take care of you . Please , think about this ! I can't lose you ! "

He looks like his entire world is about to shatter, 

" (Y/N) . . . Let's go home and talk , okay ? "

You're head felt foggy, but everything you couldn't understand about yourself and why you were in pain you could tell through Peter. You knew why he was upset and why he was walking to you, but your decision couldn't become clear right now. It felt like everything was being rushed, your heart racing as you took a step back.

" P - Peter , I love y - you . . . B - But please don't c - come any closer . "

His eyes widened but he stopped in his tracks. He was only two steps away from you and you could tell his normal breathing was shaky. You look at your arm that continued to bleed droplets and the edge right below your feet. And then back at Peter, who's eyes never left you. 

" (Y/N) . . . I'm sorry . . "

You looked confused and before you could ask he grabbed your arm and pulled you to him fast, making you and him fall on the roof. He holding onto you like his life depended on it. His warmth covered you, your head on his chest as you could hear his heartbeat . . . It sounded like he has just ran a marathon. His grip tightened on you, whispering.

" I am selfish for this but you aren't allowed to leave this world as long as I'm around . . . I mean every word I say to you . Because if you leave . . . I won't have a world anymore . . So please , stay with me . And be mine for this lifetime . "

Your eyes widen and look up at him, he was looking down at you waiting for your response. You nodded and laid back on his chest. He pet your back comfortingly letting you cry into his chest and let all your pains drain. It felt as if you'd been there forever with him just crying. But, it didn't seem to bother him but more brought him joy that he could hold you here and give you comfort. Once you finally stopped crying you felt tired, every bit of strength gone and all your focus went to Peter's warm hand rubbing your back. 

" Ready to go home ? "

He asked quietly and softly. You nod, your mind calm and sleepy now. But he seemed tired as well, you think a little. . .

" We can stay at my place for tonight . . You seem tired and I don't want to make you walk that far . . "

He smiled, 

" I get to stay at the wonderful (Y/N)'s place for once ? "

You let out a little chuckle at his smirk,

" Yes , Peter . "

He giggled and you got up off him and stood up, glancing over at the edge only to be interrupted by a warm hand grabbing yours. You turn around to be met with a worried looking Peter. 

" I'm okay . . Just grateful you were there to stop me . "

You say with a smile that he returns, he gently guided you to your apartment and the both of you go to your bed. Peter never letting go of you he looked over at you before smiling mischievously. You look confused before he gently pushed you on your bed and climbed on top of you and kissed you sweetly. 

" I love you , (Y/N) . "

He whispers before tickling you, making you giggle and squirm beneath him. Your reaction making him giggle before you shove a pillow in his face. 

" Oof -- "

He moves the pillow from in front of his face and smiles down at you and gently touched your nose with his. Then kissed your cheek and plopped down beside you. You curl up to him and he covers the both of you with your blanket. He played with your hair until he slowly dozed off in your bed.

" I love you too , Peter . "

You whisper before you fall asleep listening to his calm heartbeat. 

Your Boyfriend (YB) x Reader One ShotsWaar verhalen tot leven komen. Ontdek het nu