Not forbidden, just hard | Regulus Black

Chapter 20: His reason

i did it again guys. i stopped writing for a while.

so here's my once a month update LMAO. i am really hoping i will be able to write more. your votes and comments really help a lot.

ily guys

also i almost cried while writing this chapter, not sure if it was because of the bad writing in the beginning or cause it's a little sad but be warned if you aren't having a good day.

CW: nightmares, a brief mention of a panic attack

A reason to change. A reason to not let this house get to him. A reason to risk sending letters. A reason to fight the nightmares. Everly was all his reasons.

There she stood outside his house. It was pouring rain and lightning lit up the sky a few times thunder sounding loud right after. Each time the loud noise made her flinch. He tries to leave his house to get to her, but he can't. There's something holding him in.
A cold hand on his shoulder makes him turn around fast.

"The dark lord does not approve of blood traitors like her. I forbidd it." The cold voice of his mother rang through his ears. He turned to Everly still standing in the rain. Waiting for him.
"Reggie?" She asked. "Are you coming? We can go back to my house and watch the stars on my ceiling. It's too cold out here Reggie."

He couldn't move. His feet were glued to the cold ground of his house keeping him from running to her. Keeping him from whisking her away from this war bidden world.

"Reggie?"

He woke up with her voice ringing in his ears. His breath was heavy and he had a cold sweat all over.
"Reggie?" He looked sharply towards the sound of his name in the dark room.
"Reggie don't freak out its not mum, are you ok? I heard you scream." He said. The bed dipped down at the end where he sat.

Regulus's eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could see the outline of Sirius's face, he looked concerned.
"I knew you weren't mum don't be stupid. She would never call me Reggie." He snapped back. More mad at himself for thinking Everly was in his room for a second only for it to be his brother.

"I know. The only one who ever calls you that anymore is Everly huh?"
"Yes."
"You will see her again you know? We are going back to school in a month."
"I know." He sighed and ran his hanf through his hair still damp with sweat from his nightmare. "But do you think she'll want to see me after spending a whole summer of my mind being poisoned by mum and dad?"
"Come on Regulus do you really think she, a Potter, would ever stop talking to you over something mum or dad said? And besides do you really believe all of the pureblood, dark lord crap they say?"
"No I don't."
"Then quit screaming about it in your sleep. I need my beauty rest." And with that Sirius got up and left.

Dear Reggie,
Summer has been shit. James, Peter, and Remus have been trying to pretend they are still little kids and keep running around the house pulling pranks and tearing up the backyard with their quidditch games. It's starting to get to mum and dad who can't seem to think about anything but the war. Dad hasn't left his office in days.

I've also had this sick feeling in my stomach for weeks. I think I get it whenever you go back to that house. I even had a nightmare about it last night. Paisley tried not to bring it up in the morning but I know she woke up when I woke up mid panic attack.

Mum won't stop worrying about everything. I can tell she's trying to he her normal happy self but I can see it whenever the boys leave the house or when dad comes out of his office for meals. And she especially worries when I say I'm writing to you, she doesn't want you in that house either.

Only one more month and we can go back to worrying about quidditch games, after parties, and where the stars are in the sky. I am planning big pranks for this year in my free time so get ready to become ultimate pranksters Reggie. James said he was going to throw Sirius a big party for his birthday this year (as if last years party wasn't big enough) so we have that to look forward too as well. Miss you lots love.
                                          Love,
                                             Everly Potter

It was to risky to send a letter back for 3 weeks. He had nightmares about that too. It did make his summer a little better knowing that she would always be there to look on the brightside of the situation. His own personal sunshine. His reason.

Dear Remus,
My brother totally fancies Everly. Because he's a scardy cat and won't make the first move, I know Eve will mess with him for at least a month when she finally realizes. 10 galleons says they are dating by Valentines day.
                                            Love,
                                                Sirius Black

Dear Sirius,
You are an emotionally blind fool. 12 galleons says they are dating by Christmas.

                                            Love,
                                              Remus Lupin