The Secret Of Happiness

The Foolish,Lustful,Mistakes We Make

I was so confused about me and Niko I thought this whole thing would've brought us closer but he go weeks without calling like I barely talk to this man at all but we supposed to be engaged how that work

I drove 2 hours to see him with Chastity pregnant and all

After that long as drive I wasnt as excited as I should be soon as I walked in I saw that Dessi bitch walking out

she looked at me like she was surprised to see or surprise to me pregnant

than it all clicked no wonder why I havent been getting any calls Im sitting at home thinking we in this together and you still fucking with the same bitch

He couldn't leave this hoe alone to save his life at this point im just over it it was the same shit everytime........everytime

I was just sick of the bullshit and so filled  with raging emotions inside of me

We he saw Us he had a smile on his face and he hugged me and kissed me

I really had nothing to say absolutely nothing

we sat face to face across from eachother

"Thats daddy baby"He said talking to Chastity

He was playing with Chastity

"I like your hair mama"He said

She was just smiling at him She was reachin for him to pick her up but them petty ass guards wasn't having it 

He looked at me and said "what wrong bae"

and Im looking at him like you know whats wrong with me as I raised my eyebrow

He held my hand and said "She just came to check on me"

I pullled my hand away from his

"Jayda cmon what can I possibly be doing in here Im not fucking with her I know I said that before but Im not lying this time I love you...the only thing I wanna do is be with you and my family"He said

Still no reply from me

"Jayda don't give up on me not now baby I really need you I need my wife"He said

"I need to hear you say you love me"He said

"I love you"I said

Still to this day I don't know what the hell this man had over me clearly I should've went crazy on his ass and told him to kiss my whole black ass

but I was young I was stupid and I was desperate for love desperate for a family for something more inside of him that wasnt there honestly

I know by now everyone who is reading this is calling me stupid dummy maybe slow

But is it really stupid for someone to want love for someone to want a family for someone to see the good In people

I never had a family I have family but never had a family before

I wanted to be the mom taking my kids to their football games and cheerleading practices making diner and having a husband come home loving and appreciating me because were soul mates to be happy foreal