The Tapes. || l.s (boyxboy)

Tape twelve.

|chapter thirteen: tape twelve|

"Mum?" I sniffed into the phone, dragging my hand across my nose.

"Harry, honey? Are you alright?" Her worried tone didn't surprise me, she was one of those mothers that didn't let you go on a sleepover until you were fifteen incase you got attacked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." The crack in my voice betrayed me but my mother either never noticed, or chose to drop the subject.

"Honey, I'm confused, are you coming home or not?"

"No, I'm gonna stay with a friend if that's alright."

"Oh sweetie, that's fine. See you tomorrow, don't forget you have school!" It surprised me that she let me go, especially on a school night, but I think she was just happy that I actually had a friend. I hung up and released a breathe as Lottie stopped the car just outside the park I was in earlier. I thanked Lottie and before I could add anything else she was driving away. I shrugged residing in a nearby bench.
I admit that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders after my tape. However, it just added to my regret. Pressing play on the next tape was easier now that my turn had passed and I no longer had to worry about me being the last person. The only thing gnawing at me was that extra tape.

I hope you all can excuse my deep and emotional previous tape, but I can promise you that this tape is going to be just as hard as the other one. At least it is for me.
So this next one goes out to the person that ruined my life -my home life to be exact. He didn't ruin it like all of the people before, he ruined it in the sense that my family doesn't love me anymore. Only Lottie does. You see, this person was close to me. So close that he was in fact, family.
My cousin, Josh.
Now Josh came over during the weekend, and he stayed for a week. Or maybe less, I don't know.
Anyway, I thought that I would spend some time with my cousin and go out for the night, you know, spend some time catching up. Only we weren't the only ones going out that night.

A slight breeze caused me to shiver and bury my hands deeper into my jacket pockets. I scanned the park and my eyes rested on a couple walking hand in hand. A smile crept up and spread across my face as I imagined me and Louis walking like that. It was when the girl leant up to place a lingering kiss on her boyfriends lips that I had to look away, ignoring the growing pain that itched at my heart.

I came up with the brilliant idea of going to a club. I know, genius.
We were doing the usual, dancing, drinking, going to the bathroom together and bitching about the shitty music they played. So overall, I was having fun. That is...until a certain someone showed up.

My hands fumbled for something to play with to distract myself from the sadness that laced his every word. I finally settled on my keys and began to spin them around on my finger, shake them, clench them tightly in my fist, anything really.

I'm pretty sure you can all guess who it is by now. So I'm not gonna bother spitting his name out of my mouth.
I never heard what he said to Josh, but I did see the disgust. All the way from the bar and onto the dance floor, I felt the disgust and anger seep its way out of his body and hit me full force. At first I didn't know what he said, but I had an idea. My theory was only confirmed when Josh came over to me and spilled my drink on my new shirt, pushing me on my ass and spitting a nice, casual "faggot" in my face. I couldn't stop him from running out of the club and I couldn't stop him from driving away without me. I also sure as hell couldn't stop him from telling my family the new glorious news.
Now you may be thinking 'what's so bad about being gay?' Well, my family is all like, pro-Jesus and catholic so they don't believe that a man should ever lie with another man. You know, the usual religious shit.
By the time I'd ran home and cried for a good ten minutes in my garden, my family -my father specifically- was barging through the door and screaming at me to pack up my shit and move out. I managed to convince him to let me stay a little longer, don't really remember how though, it was all a blur, but I had to leave nonetheless. Actually, I'm supposed to leave tomorrow.
So fuck you, Josh. My family hates me now and they probably won't even care when they open my door to find me dead. I hope that when this tape reaches you you feel every single emotion you could possibly ever feel in your entire life. Sadness, betrayal, regret, self-hatred, maybe even happiness that I'm finally gone.

Atleast I never have to leave the house.