The escapee - Marvel

Chapter 53 - A really shitty day

She was living it all over again, but all decisions were pre-determined and there was nothing she could do to change it. 

Absolutely nothing.

The whistle sounded like always and Seven walked away from the table, watching the first kill happen, the gunshot.

She wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, or run to Natasha and curl up in her arms and sob, but instead, she grinned and started dodging the punches that were being thrown her way by her already wounded opponent.

Seven felt her own soul being sucked out of her as she snapped the other girl's neck, but she stood up and continued fighting anyway, searching for the girl who she knew was invisible. 

As she slit the second girl's neck she felt as if she wasn't getting enough oxygen. She was inhaling and gasping but nothing was coming in and she felt as if she would pass out. Of course, she kept going, briefly witnessing the other kill on the other side of the room before grabbing the rope and running towards the last opponent.

The worst thing about this reoccurring nightmare was that she never felt the desperation to live that she once had, or how she wanted so badly to win, just to spite her stupid guard. Instead, she felt an all-consuming craving for death, and then eventually a numbness as the gun was fired at her and the promise of death was never fulfilled. 

Every single time she lived, and there was never anything she could do about it.

The gun in her hand. Reloading. The shot. 

The last thing seven would see was the girl's eyes rolling back as death came for her, often Seven was jealous, but other times she found herself hoping that the girl she had so mercilessly killed was at peace.

Slow applause, and as soon as the hands grabbed her to take her back, she would be plunged awake. 

Seven's eyes opened at lightning speed and she leapt from her bed, throwing the covers off of herself and backing up until her back hit the wall and she could collapse down into a heap of limbs, sobbing.

It always took a while before her mind would reset and remind her that she wasn't there anymore, that none of that was happening in real-time. So for now she was imprisoned in her mind, reliving her trauma and grief for the hundredth time.

"Miss Romanoff?" A soft voice filled the room from her ceiling but Seven didn't even recognise that it was FRIDAY, instead she clamped her hands over her ears and sobbed harder. She was certain that the voices were in her head, or they belonged to someone she really didn't want to hear from.

"нет нет нет нет, не впускай их" (No no no no, don't let them in) Seven cried to herself, curling up even more. 

"Activating lock," FRIDAY said before going silent.

"Miss Romanoff?" FRIDAY's voice spoke again and Natasha was instantly awake, her eyes opening and scanning the dark room. "Just me, no threat," FRIDAY said quickly and Natasha let her guard down slightly.

"What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Three thirty-five" FRIDAY whispered back and Natasha was on edge again, there was no sane reason for FRIDAY to be waking her up at this time.

"What's the problem?" Natasha asked assertively, sitting bolt upright in her bed.

"Miss Romanoff is experiencing distress" FRIDAY answered, her chirpy voice tone not fitting the words she was delivering.

"What sort of distress? On a scale of one to ten?" Natasha asked, sometimes FRIDAY would wake her if Seven was experiencing bad nightmares.

"I would say a ten, I tried to talk to her but she was unresponsive" FRIDAY responded and Natasha was immediately on her feet, stumbling around the room and searching for a shirt she could throw on over her sports bra.