Love of the Lifetime at a Wrong Time

Chapter 17- The wedding eve + Pare's letter

After so many months of preparation. It's the eve of my wedding na. Grabeh kinakabahan ako. I was staying at the hotel cos of the pamahiin na the groom can't see the bride the day before the wedding. I was in the hotel room na, trying to sleep when my phone rang.

"Hello?!"

"Hey hon." It was doc

"Hey, oh bat ka napatawag?!" sabi ko

"I just missed you."

"‘To naman. Magkikita naman tau tomorrow eh." Sabi ko na mejo natutuwa sa kaniya

"Nga pala, I prepared a little surprise for you tomorrow. Hope you like it. I love you."

Sabi niya then binababa niya na para hindi kona siya makulit about dun sa surprise na sinasabi niya.Lalo tuloy ako naexcite. Can't wait for tomorrow. It's the big day. I'm prepared na. While getting my make up done, may lumapit sakin na assistant nung make-up artist. May inabot na letter.

"Mamaya nyo na lang daw po buksan." Sabi nung nagbigay

"Who’s it from?!" I asked kaya lang biglang lumayas ung bakla.

Tapos after about a century of preparations, I'm finally ready and on my way na sa church. My cousin already called, and told me na everybody was there na daw and me na lang daw ung hinhintay. Nung nasa limo na kami, I remembered about the letter. Kaya on our way there, I read the letter.It was from pare.

"Pare, Wow! Time does fly by... Imagine you're getting married na. I remember the very first time I saw you. Right then and there I fell in love with you. But I never had the guts to tell you about what I truly feel for you. Kasi we clicked and naging best friends tayo. You were the perfect girl for me. No wonder marami umoporma sa'yo. At least ako, nakakalamang sa kanilang lahat kasi I was your best friend.Notice how I'd always have something bad to say to your manliligaws. Kainis kasi sila eh! But sometimes, I knock myself back to earth and remember that I am JUST your best friend and that's all we could ever be, I never left your side. For me, kuntento na ko maging P.A. mo at least I'm the only man in your life. Prom time. I was so glad you asked me to be your date. Many girls were apperoaching me and asking me but I just said that I wasn't going, well I really had no plans of going until you showed up on my door and asked me. Well, what can I do?! Makakahindi ba ko sayo?! That's when I decided to make my move. Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako nagprepare for the perom. I know nagtataka ka kung baket naging ganun ung peroposal ko sa'yo. I didn't want to lose our friendship kasi eh. Kasi I was thinking na if seryosong apperoach, baka sabihin mo hindi, eh di syempre magkakailangan na tayo nun, kaya I decided na ganun na lang, para if ever na sabihing mong hindi, it wouldn't really affect our relationship that much. Alamo, you looked so beautiful that night. While we were dancing, for me, it was one perfect moment. You were the princess, and I was your prince. And when you said yes, my heart jumped with gladness. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.I have loved you with all my heart. You made me feel complete. Whenever I'm with you I could be myself. I know you're wondering, if I had loved you that much, baket ako bigla nakipagbreak sa'yo. Iwas hurting na kasi. I don't know what you truly feel for me. Masakit para sakin na after all we've been through, you still saw me as a your bestfriend. Kasi baka lalo lang tayong masaktan kung pinagpatuloy natin yung relationship natin. Although it may seem na that night, that I wasn't affected at all, when I got home I felt numb. It was like there was a piece of me na nawala. It was the very first time I cried. I told myself that I need to move on. Kaya I started looking sa other girls. Then pumasok na sa scene si Twinx, she was nothing like you kaya nga I liked her, kasi she wouldn't remind me of you and I thought na it would help me on moving on. Pero you were the only one in my mind and in my heart. But I kept on telling myself that I need to move on and that I could learn to love again. I tried. Believe me. But nung nalaman ko na may drummer boy ka na, lahat ng sakit bumalik. But I know na I need to remind myself, where I really stand sa buhay mo, kaya I just perotected you as much as I could. Nung naging kayo, dun ko na hindi kinaya ung pain kaya I've decided, to you know, umiwas na lang and give you space. That was also the time I decided to forget about my feelings for you and start anew. But I always kept in touch with some of our friends to get some news about you para maka keep up naman ako sa mga nangyayari sa buhay mo. I was so peroud of you the day you got your PhD. I told myself na it would be better na ganto na lang. you're there and I'm here just looking at you. But you never left my heart. You were my inspiration in everything I do. Whenever I'm with another girl, I'd always think about you, and just imagined that it was you I was talking to. Eventually, I found someone like you kaya lang front lang pala niya yun. Kaya ayun. When I heard that you were at the alumni homecoming, I left my work kaagad and cancelled all my meetings for that night. I was on my way to the auditorium, kaya lang bigla ako napanghinaan ng loob kaya naglakad lakad na lang ako sa campus and it brought me back to our place. My face brightened kasi naalala ko ung mga memories natin. Then I saw you. I told myself, "It's now or never.” kaya I apperoached you. You have no idea how happy I was to see you again. To touch your hands as soft as pillows, to see your smile as bright as the sun and hear your voice that always made me carry on. It was like fresh blood flowing through my veins, and giving me new life. From then on, I've decided to never let you go again. I'd rather be JUST your pare and still a part of your life again than be nothing at all.The more time I spent with you, the more I loved you. But I know that it was wrong. Especially when I found out that I was going to be a daddy. It changed my world and turned it upside down. Then when I found out that you were getting married, I can't feel anything.

Once more in my life, I felt numb. I'm now going to be a daddy and you'll be a wife. Imagine that. I have dreamed of this moment before but in my dream, you were my wife and I was the daddy of our little kid, nangyari nga siya but may slight adjustments. You were someone else's wife to be. How I wish so hard to be the guy waiting for you at the end of the altar, but I know it won't come true. I just want to tell you at I love you more than life itself. If I could only turn back time, I would've never let you go. But what's done is done. Now I'm letting you go to be happy with another man. I'm writing you this letter para I could let you go and say na nabawasan na ung mga regrets ko in life and that was being able to tell you how I truly feel for you. I just want you to know that you will always have my heart and I will always be your taga-salo whenever you feel na hindi mo na kaya. You will always have me beside you no matter what. No vows or marriage could ever come between us.

No vows or marriage could change what I really feel for you. Take care always. I love you... This will not mean goodbye, it's just a new circumstance that we have to deal with. And I promise you, we could get through this. And I will always love you.Always,Pare"