Ranger's Apprentice: The Tantalizing Tales

Fine

He could arrive any minute now. Alyss had been waiting in the cabin for a couple of hours, hoping to surprise Will when he'd come home from a routine mission. Coffee was ready at all times, she had refreshed the flowers in the rooms and the windows were open, letting a fresh autumn wind inside the cabin.

She had started this soon after their engagement. Whenever Will would be called away she'd pass by the cabin a few times a day, to check up on Ebony. On the day of his expected arrival she'd stay, waiting for him to come home.

And, judging by the sound of approaching hooves on the soft forest ground, he was, once again, coming home at last.

The wooden door swung open to reveal a man, young but experienced and weary. Alyss jumped up from her chair.

"Will! Welcome back!" she said happily. It seemed as though she had surprised Will, whom it cost a couple of seconds to recover.

"Alyss!" he called out, a grin appearing on his face, but his voice was emotionless.

"How are you?" She rushed to take his cloak from him.

"I'm fine," Will replied, but Alyss noticed that he didn't look at her when he answered.

"Are you sure? 'Cause you don't look fine to me, Will." She sounded concerned. Will, who had been standing with his back towards her, spuriously turned around.

"Gorlog's Beard, I'm fine Alyss, fine! Do I need to spell it out for you? F I N E. Fine. I am absolutely fine," he snapped at her. This time Alyss needed a moment to recover from a surprise, but when she talked her voice was strict and concerned, too.

"Gorlog forgive me, but I don't believe you. It doesn't matter how many times you keep saying it, you, Will Treaty, are not fine."

Will's soft lips stretched into a smile but didn't quite reach his dark eyes. They were lit with sadness, and the forced expression of the contrary on his mouth would have looked comical to Alyss if it didn't make her heart feel heavy. For a few moments, she stared at him, almost sure his expression mirrored hers. It broke her heart.

Alyss didn't want him to leave, ever, ever again. She didn't want to turn into a random image that floated in the pool of his conscience. She didn't want to be the smile that squeezed his chest, somewhere, anywhere, far away. She didn't want to be the memory that reminded him of home, that hurt him. She didn't want him to go. She wanted him to stay. She wanted his smile to stay.

"What is it that you need so you will believe I'm fine?" Will's voice was harsh, cold, and yet emotionless all the same. His fiance looked him in the eye. Desperately.

"A smile, Will, one simple smile. You tell me that you're fine, day after day, and yet when I look at your face there's absolutely no proof to back it up." Her voice wavered, the emotions were starting to rule. Desperately.

"When you come home, from a tour or a mission or anything, and I ask you how you're doing, you tell me you're fine. You pull your lips up but your eyes have never looked colder and darker. You hug me and kiss me and you seriously think that I don't feel the coldness that radiates out of you? You ask me to believe you when you say that you're fine, but all I want is for you to believe me when I say that I love you."
He turned his back on her.
"Will, please talk to me. Don't shut me out like this." She stepped towards him and laid her hand on his cheek, tried to look him in the eye but he looked away. When he talked, his voice was cold. Colder than she'd ever heard before.

"I'm fine." He stepped away from her, kept a safe distance, all so she wouldn't be hurt by the demons that he felt battling inside of him. Alyss smiled, but it was a sad smile. Her voice, normally so strong, was raised and revealed how upset she was. And how desperate.

"I've known you my entire life, Will, and I probably know you better than anyone else does. You're not fine. Cut the bullshit." No reply.

"And if you don't do it for yourself, then please, please do it for me." He could hear that she was on the edge of tears.

"I'm begging, you, Will. I love you, I love you no matter what, but I can't do this. I just can't."

And that's when he gave in.

His knees gave up and he sank to the ground, as sobs started to make a way out of his throat. Alyss rushed towards him, fell on her knees next to him and pulled him towards her.

"Oh hon." Her arms embraced him, hugged him. She kissed him, caressed him, dried the tears that ran over his cheeks.

"Ssshhhhh, hon, I'm here. I'll always be here."