The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 36: And All That Jazz

Remus let out an excited gasp. "You mean---"

"WE'RE DOING CHICAGO, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Janus threw his hat into the air in celebration. "Billy Flynn, here I come!"

Roman wrinkled his nose. "Chicago? Really? There's hardly any decent roles in that show."

"Oh, don't be such a priss," Janus said, waving a hand. "Try out for Amos. He's a fairly decent man compared to everyone else."

"Not like that's saying much, but yeah, maybe."

"Maybe I should try out for Mary Sunshine," Remus mused. "Not every day I get a valid excuse to dress in drag."

Janus gave him a confused look. "Why would you need an excuse?"

"You'd have to shave," Virgil reminded him.

Remus shrugged, setting Janus down. "Eh, if I shave my 'stache off, it'll grow back within a day. It ain't that big of a deal."

"Suit yourself."

"Oh, I gotta tell Jackie," Patton said, getting out his phone. "They love this show. Been holding their breath for it ever since they joined crew."

Virgil's interactions with the people on crew---besides lighting---were fairly limited, so he had to think for a second. "Jackie... they're the kid with the glasses and pink undercut, right? The one who always looks like they're cosplaying as Quentin Blake?"

"Mm-hmm! They help me out with the backdrops."

Logan gave him a look over his glasses. "You have got to start remembering the other crew members' names, Virgil. Especially if you want to be the light crew head next year."

"Hey, I don't interact with them as much," Virgil pointed out. "Plus, there's a ton. It's hard to keep track."

Logan sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Fair."

..............

"All right, gentlemen, here we go," Janus said, cracking his knuckles. "In just a few mere minutes, the auditions will begin. And I will proceed to destroy my competition."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Thought you couldn't sing when you were doing your 20's American accent."

"Well, doing Anything Goes gave me practice, and now I can sing flawlessly with that accent, so ha."

The doors to the auditorium opened and Persephone walked in, hands in her pockets.

Janus brightened a little. "Oh, hello! You've come to cheer me on, I suspect?"

"No, actually."

"Signing up for crew, then? I think the lighting crew needs a few extra hands---"

"We're fine," Virgil told him, elbowing him. "Arden promised that she'd actually show up this time."

Persephone drew herself up. "For your information, Sunshine, I'm trying out for Velma."

Pause.

Janus instantly burst out into one of his trademark maniac Disney-villain fits of laughter.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Persephone snapped.

"I'm sorry---you're going for Velma? The lead?" he choked. "I can understand you getting a more minor role, but you're a freshman!"

"Mm-hmm, and what grade were you in when you got Wadsworth, again?"

Janus brushed that off. "That's different. I was clearly the most talented, and I have never seen or heard you perform."