𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐘𝗼𝐮

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺-𝘌𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵

"Baby, you're going through the motions and I think it's funny because you don't know what to feel" My mother said, I sighed.

Maybe she's right

"But I miss him and now I don't think he misses me back because I noticed whenever we talk, he doesn't call me mama" I said sniffing. "Nor baby anymore. He doesn't call me mama and he always calls me mama"

"Awe, I so sorry stinky butt" She said kissing my forehead, I rolled my eyes. "But listen to me okay, that boy cares about you—And he wouldn't want you thinking the way you're thinking right now baby"

"But I can't help it" I said.

"And I know that, I'm sure he knows that too but he wants you to stop letting your thoughts get to you and actually talk to him. To tell him all of the reasons that's behind you thinking the way that you do. It's not that he finally realized that you're a lot to deal with or that you're too insensitive baby but it's just, he wants you to be able to look at yourself and him and not see any doubts" My mother said, I sat there listening to her. "I know Paris isn't tired of you and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even wanna hear you speaking that way—So within you guys being apart taking space from one another, he wants you to be able to do all the thinking you can in order to actually come to terms with things that has dealings with y'all's relationship"

"Okay my love?" My mother said lifting my chin making me look up at her. "Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Just give it time baby and when y'all are ready, it'll be more than what it was before. This lil space thing ain't gonna work anyway not if he knew if this was how you were acting" she said, I nodded my head in agreement while wiping my face. I laid back onto my bed pulling the covers over my face while I grabbed Kingston pulling him closer to me.

I gasped as he wiggled away releasing himself from me making me sit up and eyed him. I looked at her with tears in my eyes as she sat there grinning making a cry escape from my mouth.

"Amour" She called out, I laid back down pulling the covers on top of me.

"Baby, maybe he has to pee or something—He doesn't like me anymore!" I cried cutting her off while she laughed.

"And he doesn't even have to pee because I took him out a few hours ago" I said, she sighed.

"Okay baby, well just lay down and take a nap or something" My mother said. "Alright, because you're meltdown is killing me girl"

"Yes ma'am" I replied closing my eyes as I turned on my side pulling the covers up over my face. I continued sniffing as I calmed down blinking my eyes while I stared at absolutely nothing but dark.

"Lord, please help my child" I heard my mother say leaving out of my room laughing, I sighed hearing my room door shut before I forced myself asleep.

•••

I laid in bed feeling nothing but exhausted as Kingston snuggled up under me while I scrolled on my phone reading Wattpad.

After my mini meltdown, it was safe to say that going anywhere was out of the question. My mother had suggested for me to get out and go somewhere so I wouldn't be in my room but that's all I wanted.

I was still in the state of going through my emotions about Paris and about how much I missed him. Although I tried many times to get my mind to drift off to somewhere else—I couldn't, it was like it was nearly impossible to get him out of my mind.

It seemed like every second I would wonder about him and what'd he was doing.

Beside of all the failing attempts of trying to stop thinking about him and our troubled relationship, it seemed as if everything around knew that I was having a hard time today.