Essence of Wounds [WenZhou]

Chapter 3

Zhou Zishu caught a glimpse out the window and found a full moon, pouring its light into his humble room. Lao Wen slept peacefully, cheeks red with warmth, lashes long and pretty, shading down on his pale skin. Wen Kexing's features glowed faintly, so soft and ethereal as he basked in moonlight. His face looked calm, child-like and innocent. A faint smile appeared across his lips as he nuzzled closer to Zhou Zishu who only held him tighter.

Zhou Zishu suddenly thought how lucky he was, that his soulmate was here again and lying next to him. He smiled, brushing away a long strand of white hair from Lao Wen's face. It was a bit dark, but not dark enough to cover Lao Wen's sleepy smile and beautiful hair.

It had been few months since they reunited, but Zhou Zishu still refused to sleep before Lao Wen, lest he'd slip away from him again. It was very unlike him and he knew he was being clingy, possessive, overprotective and needy, but Wen Kexing didn't seem to mind. He loved it actually, he would be so happy every time Zhou Zishu expressed jealousy or indirectly asked for attention, and he would give everything to him without question, completely and unconditionally.

He had been worried about this fateful reunion, he was afraid that he couldn't return the love Lao Wen deserved to receive, the love he, himself, used to give. But all his fears and worries seemed to disappear the moment his eyes caught Lao Wen's when Zhou Zishu's hands touched Lao Wen's body. They had made love in different ways, in every possible way- with their eyes, their lips, their hands, their most intimate selves. And nothing seemed to matter except them. Not the lonely centuries, not the cruel words, not the harsh grips...

Zhou Zishu woke up to an empty embrace. At first, it seemed like one of those nightmares that always haunted him, but then he sat up and rubbed his eyes, touching the sheets, searching hysterically in between them. He took a deep breath and a million more, his heart pounding harder with each breath. The sheets were still warm but Lao Wen was not here.

"Lao Wen?" He yelled towards the kitchen, hoping that Lao Wen would be cooking breakfast, but there was no smell of food nor a reply. Zhou Zishu sat up quickly, unbothered by his messy hair and uneven clothes, "Lao Wen?" He knocked on the bathroom door and opened it but there was no one, "Lao Wen?" He walked to the living room, the hallway, the other bathroom, "Lao Wen?!" He panicked, grabbing the phone he barely used and called Wen Kexing's number, only to hear his phone ringing in the kitchen. "Wen Kexing!" He went to the kitchen, ready to scold Wen Kexing, but he only found the phone ringing on the counter, and no Lao Wen.

Zhou Zishu's heart hurt again. Oh, how weak he had become without Lao Wen. How quickly he reverts to another version of himself whenever Lao Wen is not there.

He tried to calm down, seating himself on the sofa and waiting, maybe Lao Wen went to see a friend, maybe he went with A-Xiang, maybe...maybe...maybe... maybe he left. Maybe he left again, maybe he got tired of Zhou Zishu's possessiveness and overprotectiveness, maybe he decided to pay him back for hurting him... and a hundred more or even endless maybe's.

He took another deep, steadying breath and focused again. He played with the jar necklace while his eyes wandered naturally out the window, and he couldn't help but get distracted by the birds flying and playing and chirping outside. So spirited and carefree. In a strange way, Zhou Zishu suddenly felt sad, his tears burst out, he envied those birds for being able to find happiness so easily without the fear of it being snatched away any second.

He was thinking too much, maybe Lao Wen just went for groceries, but why did he feel so abandoned, so betrayed? He will come back, he will come back. He can't leave, we have a date today, he can't leave. He will come back.

But by the time Lao Wen finally came back, Zhou Zishu was already an emotional mess. He was sitting by the window, crying tears that had already dried out, head on his knees and hair over his face. He knew he was overthinking, overreacting, but he had long lost what he used to call 'self-control'. Nothing seemed to ease the sudden stinging of his heart and the flood of centuries' worth of bad memories and unbearable grief.

"A-Xu?" Lao Wen gasped, closing the door and tossing what he was holding onto the coffee table, rushing to A-Xu's side, "A-Xu? What's wrong? What happened?" He held him close, stroking away the mess from his hair, "My dear A-Xu, calm down." He said softly, his voice warm and soothing. "Breathe, my love, breathe."

"Lao Wen." Zhou Zishu clutched Wen Kexing's clothes without looking up, burying his face in his shoulder, "Where have you been? Why did you leave me alone in bed? Why did you go?" He looked up, eyes swollen and glazed, tears dropping from the corners. "Your hair..." He stopped crying, sniffled and widened his eyes.

Wen Kexing smiled and bit his lip, "A-Xu... The strangest thing just happened." He lifted his hand to A-Xu's cheeks and wiped away his tears, "I saw you sleeping peacefully so I didn't wake you up, I went to cut and dye my hair, so I can surprise you." He kissed Zhou Zishu's forehead and brushed his thumb over the kiss, "But no amount or type of hair dye could work on my hair..."

"What?" Zhou Zishu reached out, running his fingers through Lao Wen's now short white hair, "what do you mean?"

"I mean, my hair couldn't be dyed and I don't know why." He sighed, but it wasn't a sad sigh, "maybe fate wants to punish me, to always remind me how much I've hurt you."

"But I love your hair..." Zhou Zishu admitted, a bit surprised by his own words. "I mean... It doesn't-"

"I'm sorry I left in the morning, I wanted to call you but I forgot my phone," He hugged him again, "A-Xu, I'll never do it again."

"It's fine..." Zhou Zishu felt pathetic, "I'm being too sensitive lately... A bit on edge."

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have let you wake up to an empty bed." Wen Kexing pulled back from the hug and pressed a kiss to A-Xu's lips, "I'll never leave you again."

Zhou Zishu wiped another left-over tear and pouted, furrowing his brows, "You better not, or I'll break your legs." He was silent for a moment before asking another risky question, "Did you go alone?"

"A-Xu, of course I went alone." Wen Kexing grinned, "what? Are you jealous?"

"No..." Zhou Zishu turned away shyly.

"I went alone, came back alone. I also bought you breakfast." He licked his lips and leaned closer, whispering in A-Xu's ear, "A-Xu, do you like my haircut?"

Zhou Zishu stared longer and smiled, "I do, I do. It looks great." He caught him off guard and messed up Wen Kexing's hair with his hand, "Now you look better." He laughed.

"A-Xu!" Wen Kexing jerked back, "So mean! I just styled it and you ruined it!"

"Crybaby." Zhou Zishu laughed loudly, blissfully.

"A-Xu, A-Xu." Wen Kexing called twice, "I cut my hair, it's a new start for me, for us..." He lowered his voice, softening his tone, taking Zhou Zishu's hand in his, "I will do anything to make you trust me again... and I will never, never, not in this life and not in the next, will I ever leave you again."

Zhou Zishu took a flock of Wen Kexing's short hair and twirled it around his finger, eyes blooming with relief and joy, "Lao Wen..." He sighed, retracting his hand and tapping on his own temple, "It's violent here without you," He said, referring to his own mind.

Wen Kexing pressed his hand to A-Xu's chest, on his heart, "but it's soft in there, with or without me."

"What do you mean?! with or without?!" Zhou Zishu spoke loudly. "Are you leav-"

"A-Xu, calm down." Wen Kexing took A-Xu's face in between his palms, resting his forehead against his, a gesture that was once used in violence, was now so gentle and sweet. "I meant, when your mind plays tricks on you, think with your heart."

A/N

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