Chapter 28

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i felt her absence. it was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. you wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know they were gone
~James Dashner

****cw: blood****

Chapter 28
Ryder's POV
I sighed, tearing a hand through my hair as I tossed the hot pan to the side, the contents splashing out of it and spilling onto the floor with an audible splash.

I couldn't get this recipe right, I'd tried four times so far and each one just wasn't what I was looking for.

I don't need Beatrice.

I grabbed the pan. Pouring what was left in the sink, rinsing it out. I took hold of the mop, lazily trying to clean up the mess, not having enough strength to hold the broom properly. I blindly mopped the floor, the only section of the room that was lit being the dim glow from the stove burner.

I filled the pan with water, running into the sink in the process. I'd spilled hot water everywhere, nearly cut my finger off, and burned myself on more than one occasion all because I was too stubborn to turn the light on. I liked the dark better.

I set the pan on the stove, cracking an egg into it and trying to stir it like I'd watched on the video. I turned to grab a spoon, knocking over Alexia's cookie jar. It collapsed, shattering into pieces, and leaving bits of ceramic and cookie everywhere. I let out an aggravated breath, the tiny inconvenience setting me overboard as I grabbed the one piece that remained in tack, chucking it against the wall as hard as possible, sending chips of it flying. I gripped onto the counter for support, dangling my head as I tried to breath.

Alexia's footsteps pounded down the stairs as she rushed to discover the noise, still half asleep. She screamed, probably because all she could see was a dark figure standing in the corner. It didn't take her long to realize it was me. "What is your problem, Ryder?" She shouted, flipping on the light.

I groaned, covering my eyes. "Was the light necessary?"

She glared at me. "Clearly, considering our whole kitchen is surrounded by glass."

"I'll clean it up."

"What is up with you? Why are you cooking, in the dark, at four in the morning?" She grimaced as she took in the full extent of the mess I'd made.

"Beatrice and I broke up." My voice was cold and emotionless, so I didn't have to bear my feelings to her on a silver platter.

Her face dropped instantly, letting me know Beatrice hadn't already told her. Great. I wasn't even important enough for her to tell her best friend. I would have told Mateo, if he wasn't blacked out on my bed at the moment. The two of us had to crash at my place considering I couldn't bring Mateo home to his mother in that condition.

"I'm so sorry, Ryder." She took a few steps closer to me. "What happened?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it." I grabbed a towel from the stove, wiping off my hands.

She sighed."Look I know we don't talk about that kind of stuff, and we're not that close, but I'm your sister, Ryder, your twin sister."

Anything I told her would either taint her view of Beatrice or be told right back to Beatrice. I didn't want her to know how much of a mess I was. "You're practically best friends with Beatrice."

"And you're my brother. I can be impartial."

I wasn't going to sit here and cry like a baby. "Why do you even care?"

She rested her hands on her hips. "Because, you looked happy, and you were talking to me again, Ryder, you haven't talked to me since dad died."

"I talk to you." I talked to her all the time, when we passed in the halls or she needed help with homework or needed someone to cover for her with our mother.

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