Little Girl Blue - 𝐖𝐋𝐖

𝐈. Philia- TwentyThree

I shook my head, scoffing, "The opposite actually."

His eyebrow raised as he reached over, a few bills tucked between his wrinkled fingers. "Ah love. You're in love and it hurts."

"Something like that." Nothing like that. But something does hurt. "Here you go." I handed back over the change along with the receipt.

Zipping up his coat and collecting his bags, he looked outside towards the large windows. The strange winds blowing all kinds of matter in every which way. The tremendous amounts of water sloshing from one side of the pavement to the other. He welcomed it. The corners of his cheeks turned upward, his posture erect.

He looked back to me, who struggled to blink back more tears. Trying not to count down the minutes for when I'd have to see Jane again.

His palm reached over mine, lightly tapping. "It's going to be alright. They'll come around."

I don't know what drove me to say it but I did. "And if they don't? Then what?"

"Then you love yourself more than they ever could." He tapped his fingers again.

I found myself wanting to dive deeper into the topic—more of the what-if's and buts. Confide in him so easily about everything that wasn't alright, everything that would never be. I conjured up a small nod. This time, the tears did fall, uncontrollably intolerable. I didn't wait to wish him a goodbye, a get home safe. I just had to get out of there.

Quickly my feet carried me to the break room. That smell of old coffee and sugar nauseated me. I had to sit down to gain some sort of balance. Even then my eyes poured over, wetting my cheeks in a defenseless stream. This felt so reminiscent, so typical and sickening it only brought more agony to the day.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay." Harpers warm hands pressed my back, rubbing small circles through the polyester vest.

I heaved, trying to get a hold of my heart and lungs and get them to cohesvially acknowledge each other. "I wish people would stop fucking say that!" I felt it was a justified outburst. But I knew I had done wrong when Harper jumped back, eyes wide. She looking like she could burst into tears, too.

"I didn't mean to yell." I recovered, wiping at my leaking eyes.

She played with the little zipper and rocked on her toes. Her platform boots making an annoying clogging noise each time. "What happened?" She asked calmly.

On the table there was a box of tissues sitting next to a jar of candies. I tore one out, causing the whole table to shake. "Nothing." I crumbled.

She huffed, plopping into the seat opposite of mine as she began tearing the wrapper from a Jolly Rancher. "I don't know what you have everyone else in this town on, but I'm not fooled. So I ask again, what is wrong, Florence?" Her voice was firm. That once sweet and chirpy girl had vanished and now I felt I was being scolded by someone's mother.

I sighed. "It's Jane."

"What did she do?" She spat.

Shaking my head, I had very little energy to inform her that she wasn't the one at fault. "I told her I liked her and it backfired a little."

"How so?"

"Doesn't matter."

"So you'd rather mope than to get to the root of the problem." She sucked on the candy, the sweet clanking against her teeth.

"I quite like it this way actually."

She sunk into her chair. I couldn't blame her for trying. I'm sure I looked like a madman running from my post, making ridiculous noises. I wasn't making it any easier on myself. Blend in. Be normal.