5 O' Clock Shadows

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"A friend." He replied, putting the cigarette out on the wall. "Why does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't. I was just curious."

He folded his hands together. "Well I can tell that's not all that you want to ask. So go ahead."

I swallowed hard, hearing it audibly as I shifted in place. "Well... Who were the two of you talking about?"

He leaned back against his chair. "You." His fingers twitched against one another. "She was a friend of mine. A very close friend. Some would even call us platonic soulmates. Though, nothing she wanted was platonic. When you were in your third year, she was in her seventh. And, much like you now, I was her professor. Head of house even. And, again, much like you, she had fallen head over heels with her potion master. I tried to keep her pursuits at tame, but, when this year's term began, many years later, I had a much more difficult time preventing her from attempting anything. What you saw was a glimpse of how I rejected her. She was a brilliant girl; very mature. Unfortunately, she deemed herself mature enough to attempt to seduce me. The person I was supposedly in love with was... Well... You. One thing led to another and here I was finding myself constantly ignoring her and pursuing you. And one day, she got sick of waiting. So she chose someone over me. I can't say I don't regret giving her a chance."

I sat in stunned silence at his response.

He turned his head again to look elsewhere. "I don't hate you, y/n. In fact quite the opposite. I just don't know how to express my feelings as well as I'd like. Some of your actions are very frustrating but I could never truly hate you. I am, regardless of what I tell you, still very much fond of you. Dare I even say in love with you."

I felt as though something had just stabbed me in the chest.

"And I understand if you still hate me. I don't blame you." He turned his gaze to me once more. "And I am very sorry about anything I have done or said to provoke any type of discomfort or distaste inside of you. My only intentions are to please you. And clearly I'm doing a shitty job at it."

I cleared my throat. "I should apologize as well. I-"

"Save it for someone else. I don't need your apologies."

"But-"

"Just be quiet." He responded calmly. "Please."

I felt my throat go dry. "Okay."

He leaned his head back against his chair, exhaling softly as he brought his hand to his face.

I shifted my gaze to my feet again, not sure how to comfort him.

(Greetings. Just wanted to give you an NSFW warning for the next part. Carry on!)

"Are you hungry?" Severus asked me, walking from the door toward myself.

"No? Are you?"

"I am not." He responded. "Have you drunken any water recently?"

"What are you my mother?"

"No. Just curious." He replied, walking around me and sitting on the fitted blanket upon the bed.

I sat down beside him. "Yes I have. Have you?"

"I have as well." He said casting a glance at me.

I lifted my hand, accidentally grazing it against his thigh.

His breathe shuddered and his eyes scrunched up.

"Are you alright?" I asked, sitting up slightly. He gave a muffled yes but continued closing his eyes.