Darling deception- a criminal minds fanfic

Not always

It wasn't that she thought men couldn't be abused- of course she didn't think that, she had seen her brother's hit by her father enough times to know that- but she had only ever seen Hotch as this strong unit leader who unsubs never seemed to be able to hit because he would detain them first.

It was baffling to her to imagine him in a similar situation to her when she was a child, it was terrifying to think about.

"He was an alcoholic, workaholic lawyer who was never home until my mother passed away when I was 13, and then he was always home and he took her death out on me" Hotch explained further, sharing a part of himself he had only told his therapist and taken years to be comfortable talking about, "he'd drink and then he'd hit, and then he'd hit when he didn't drink because he didn't have anything else to do- he made my life a living hell but I was told I had to love him because he was my father, he was all I had and I was all he had, that I shouldn't resent him for hurting me, because he was my father- that I should have been sad when he died, because he was my father."

Darling watched him as he spoke, pulling up to her apartment but not getting out of the car when he turned to her.

"I wish I had someone to tell me what I'm going to tell you; you don't have to love him. You can wish he was dead, you are allowed to be 'selfish' and 'childish' because you had your childhood taken from you by a man who was meant to love you and look after you. He wasn't the father you deserved, and he doesn't deserve your unconditional love people expect you to give him- and you don't have to feel guilty for not loving or wanting to help him."

She watched Hotch for a moment before she couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears, immediately feeling his arms wrap around her in a comforting bear hug that she didn't expect from him.

"I-I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing-" she tried to say in-between sobs.

"It's not embarrassing" he soothed, "if you need to let it out then let it out, you shouldn't be expected to keep this all in just because you were the one keeping your family together to not stir waves. You are allowed to stir the waves of the whirlpool you were dropped into, you shouldn't be expected to try to contain them by yourself."

"I... I just don't want my brothers to hate me" Darling wiped her eyes and sat back with a sigh, "I don't know how much you've been able to profile out of me, I assume it's a lot but sorta I'm the reason my dad was sent to prison-"

"I know" Hotch gave a small apologetic nod that she tilted her head at before sighing.

"Ah... so Derek told you I assume..."

"No, of course not" he shook his head, "he asked me to pardon an old case for him to be able to wipe a name off of the file- it's a common thing we do with sexual abuse cases when the victim wants to come forward and can't remain anonymous to make a valid case but we can protect them this way. I read the name of your father's case and saw the witness boxes full of your two brothers, but your name not agreeing to be a pardoning witness and made the connection- I didn't read the file, I wouldn't invade your privacy like that, and I know Morgan certainly wouldn't either."

She gave a tearful appreciative smile, "t-thanks Hotch."

"Of course" he gave a smile back, "like I said, family isn't just who you're related to- the team are a family, and that makes you a part of it to if you want to be, I know that we'd all like that."

Darling couldn't help her smile grow, feeling an almost a sad childish joy from someone saying they wanted her in their family.

"I-I'd like that" she nodded and he smiled at her as she went to get out of the car but paused and looked over her shoulder at him.