Une Fleure Fanée

Week 10 Part 5 (Thursday)

     Ms. Joanne begins to speak, "So Abby, um, the team was wondering why you left yesterday. Because, I know Michelle that a studio was coming, and it seemed like it frazzled you, and then you hated everybody's stuff. And then you, like, zoomed out of here."

      "If the name of any other studio-- I don't care what studio it is-- if the name of any other studio is mentioned, this will be the end. Right now, you're in here, da, da, da, da. Where are the kids?" Ms. Abby threatens, and we emerge from the dancer's den.

      "I only want Brady right now. Go do some school or something," Ms. Abby dismisses, and the girls and I go back to the dancer's den.

      I finish up my math that I started yesterday. Then I finish my English lesson. Then, I finish my social studies. Gia gets called in about halfway through. Wait, how have three hours gone by and we haven't danced a lick? Have Brady and Gia seriously been dancing for three hours?

     Suddenly, we see Mom dash down the stairs to Studio A, muttering under her breath, "This is ridiculous."

      After some unintelligible bickering, Mom storms up the stairs. Everybody looks at me. I shrug, and I go back to my computer to do another lesson. I barely get to start an extra English lesson, however, when Brady calls me in.

       I peel off my sweatsuit and without looking at any of the other kids, I anxiously make my way into Studio A. You look so fat, Lilliana. What is Ms. Abby going to say about the way you look?

***brady***

     I pass Lilly as she jogs to Studio A. I only catch a glimpse of her, but I can see her nearly entire spine through her leotard, and her ribs as well. Her thigh gap is concerning, and I can see a few of her hip bones. She looks like a skeleton. How could she see herself as fat? I hate that she has to go through this. It's killing her, and it's killing me.

***lilly***

     As I close the door behind, I'm met by Ms. Abby yelling at me, "Your mother's going on and on about how we forgot you, but we didn't. Put that on."

     She gives me a pink t-shirt that says 300, once again reminding me of an achievement I didn't deserve. It somehow fits me, and I thought I would be too big for it. That's a nice surprise.

     "You're going against the older kids now. So the pressure's on. You have to blow everybody out of the water. All right?" Ms. Abby reminds me, and I nod at her question.

     You can barely win against kids your own age, Lilliana. You're never going to win against the older kids. You don't have enough talent to even come close. Despite Ms. Abby not seeming too enthusiastic about choreographing me, she begins to do so.

     "So we're gonna roll that way to get up, five six. And we're gonna step back and fondu, seven, eight. So let's go," Ms. Abby motions, waving her hand.

     This goes on for about an hour before she orders me to go get the others. She didn't mention anything about the way I look. The other kids seem to be starving since they haven't had lunch. Me, I just have to get used to it.

     Once I get changed into a black leotard, I walk back into Studio A and I notice all the other girls, they're all in their leotards. They look so much prettier than you in the leotard. They're so skinny and beautiful, unlike you, Lilliana. As Sarah and Hannah are getting their own little sections, Ms. Michelle once again appears in our rehearsal, this time all the moms tagging along.

     "Hey Abby, I wanted you to know Studio 19 is calling you out on social media," Ms. Michelle informs Ms. Abby.

     "Okay, I'm done, thank you. I'm sorry, I don't think Sarah is going to be able to be in the routines," Ms. Abby announces, and we all look at each other in just pure confusion.