Consealed

Chapter 1.2 - A small gesture

Xennes' pov

I was right. My dad and I rushed to the hospital and there she was. We ran into the room, out of breath and full of disbelieve we looked at her. She became pale, weakened, thin. The more days passed by, the more she transformed to a woman unknown to me. She doesn't look any near to the person she was before. I hate to see her like that, I pray so hard for her recovery, but I don't think she will anymore. I look at my dad and my body start shaking. My father's eyes are locked on my mom. I feel the tension and stress in the room. "Is she... going to...?" I couldn't finish my sentence. The doctor walks into the room with a gloomy look on his face. "How is she doctor?" My father asked him. The doctor took a deep breath, took his clipboard with information about mom and read her diagnosis to us. "Your wife, mother, has stage four breast cancer, and it's very aggressive." He told us. I didn't fully understand what he meant, but I had a feeling this was very bad. "But that means she... you mean she'll..." Dad was out of breath, on the verge of breaking down. "She most likely won't wake up tomorrow, I'm very sorry." The doctor adds. She won't wake up. Does he mean... she dies tonight? That can't be! Dad sat down next to my mom's bed. He held her hand and started crying uncontrollably. "My dear Arianne, you can't leave us behind! I can't live without you, Xennes can't live without you please get better, pull through sweet dear Arianne!" Dad cried out. This can't be! She is my mom she is supposed to stay with me forever isn't she!? What's going on!? My mind went all over the place. I couldn't understand the situation clearly because I was so young. I slowly walked closer towards the hospital bed. I look at my mom, laying in bed breathing slowly and weak. "Mom?" Tears start filling my eyes. My body starts trembling, my breathing gets heavier, and my hands are cold. I saw her opening her eyes and she looked at the both of us. "Ah, you're here honey" she told dad and then called my name after. "Xennes sweety... get closer to me please, I want to hold you." She almost cried with a sweet smile on her face. I got up the edge of the bed and hugged her tighter than I ever had. "Mommy please don't leave!" I cried out. "Sweety it's alright, it's just how the cookie crumble's..." she started stroking with her hand through my hair. Her touch was so gentle, so fragile and so loving. I didn't want this moment to end. How would I know this was the last time I could feel her, hear her voice, hug her tightly, talk to her, and look at her face? She won't ever be able to make my lunches again, dress me up for school, kiss me goodbye and read me a bedtime story. Everything starts to get blurry from that moment. In the distance I hear her mutter something, she kisses me on the cheek, and I hear a soft beeping sound.

Not much later the funeral came, and they sank my mother down into the cold brown earth. Family, friends, and loving ones are standing all around the hole in the ground. Everyone is dressed in black. Some are sobbing or crying by themselves and loved ones. No one said a word. The silence hurts. I want it all to disappear. I want to go back to my room, hide, and cry by myself. Crying until I'm running out of teardrops. I want my mother back. I want my mommy back! They took her from me, what did I do!? My chest is hurting real bad. Is this what a heartache feels like? My thoughts won't stop screaming on the top of their lungs, it hurts, it hurts so bad. I feel dizzy, not soon after I hit the ground, and everything went black. Later I woke up in my father's arms. It seems like I passed out back then. "I don't want to lose you too." He told me.

It's been a week now since I had last gone to school. I just really didn't want to go back now. I didn't want the others to see me as the weak person I was back then. I hid myself in my room all day and didn't eat until dinner time. Most of the times I got too ill to keep the food inside, so I got thinner quickly. My dad was seriously worried about me, but he couldn't handle the situation well because of the trauma of my mom, who passed away recently. We went to general practitioner a few times, but it didn't seem to help. After that we went to a psychologist, but that didn't last long either. My dad had to get me back to school quickly or he might've lost guardianship over me. Even though my dad and I spent a lot of time together since mom had passed away, I still don't know a lot about the man. Most of the times he was withdrawn to his room, just like me. We saw each other during counseling hours or during dinner time. We just processed our loss differently. I don't remember we had any contact with my family members as well since my mother passed away. One day the doorbell rang. My dad was too carried away by the loss to function properly, so I went down to get the door. When I opened the door, he stood there, Tsuya. "What are you doing here?" I asked him blunt. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this. He was holding on to something when he told me something like: "Hey Xennes... I uhm... I haven't seen you for a while now and I came by to check on you." He spoke heartfully. "I don't want to see you right now." I snarled him off. "I understand, but uhm I brought you something. I hope it might cheer you up." He handed me a little gift. I held it close to me and felt like crying again but I managed to fight my tears. "Thank you..." I managed to bring out. He took all this effort to get me something. What did I do to deserve his friendship? He's too good for me. "If you ever want to talk or play, don't waver to call me! I'm here for you whenever you need me." He smiled kindly. "I will..." I closed the door again. I went to my room to open the present. He carefully wrapped it in thick purple paper. He even put a strap around it in a bowtie. Inside I found a small doll, Tsuya obviously made himself. There's a note inside as well.